


But for the Grace of God

by universalromance



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alistair is confused as usual, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anders becomes the Herald of Andraste, Anders is not cut out for this saving the world crap, Anders went to the conclave, Breaking Up & Making Up, But Varric doesn't as much as he pretends, Carver wishes his brother would learn to stay put, Cullen and Anders bicker like children, Cullen is ridiculous and oblivious, Dorian is an incorrigible flirt, Everyone still hates him, Families of Choice, Fenris is angry, Hawke and Anders are awkward humans, Hawke dumped him at the end of DA2, I have no idea how long this will be, I'm not joking - Freeform, Inquisitor Anders (Dragon Age), Justice is gone, M/M, Now he has to save the world, Retelling of Inquisition, Then the Inquisitor, Varric is a shit-stirrer, Warden Commander Mahariel is so done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2018-09-02 02:12:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 39,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8647681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/universalromance/pseuds/universalromance
Summary: In 9:37 Dragon Anders made a terrible mistake and it changed both his world and the course of history. Of course, the mage rebellion was the primary result of his actions, but the more personal result was the loss of the only light in his miserable life. Alone, friendless, and lost he went on the run.
Now, 9:41 Dragon, he heard something that gave him hope. Divine Justinia has called a conclave to attempt to put an end to the mage-Templar conflict. He heard whispers that perhaps she intended to change things, to make things better for his fellow mages. More than anything he would love to have seen that happen.
Now he's alone in his mind and soul, there's strange magic contained in his left hand that he doesn't understand, a Seeker of Truth keeps telling him he's the only hope to save the world, and most people still want him dead. He just wanted to speak to the Divine, what in the Maker's name happened to the sky?





	1. No longer an abomination and there's a hole in the world

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this is a work in progress. I had this crazy idea that I had to write down. I was creating an Inquisitor for a new playthrough and I wanted him to be blond, so I'm shifting through the hairstyles and I come across one that is uncannily like Anders' hair from DA2. There's an explosion of plot bunnies in my mind, the next day I have 12k written, one chapter's worth of it completed and roughly edited (I'm an awful editor, sorry in advance) and I can't stop writing. I mentioned the idea to my sister who responded with excitement and said 'Oh my god, think of Varric's reaction! That will be amazing!'
> 
> I love myself some angsty reunion stories and the idea of Anders and Hawke seeing each other again and being forced to work together was too good to resist, and having Varric and Anders fix their friendship, having Anders find it difficult to work with the Inquisition when Cullen keeps glaring at him and half of the people around him blame him entirely for the war and its results... Oh man, it would too good to pass up. So here. Have some Inquisitor!Anders. This is just the prologue of the game with Anders in it. The story will diverge from canon more as we get further in.
> 
> Please, enjoy :)

Waking on a cold stone floor, strangely, doesn't even rank in the worst ten ways Anders has ever woken up. The stones are clean, if freezing, and despite the feeling in his body as if he fell off a cliff, he is apparently whole and uninjured. Therefore, a far better way to wake up than in a sewer, or with a large gash on his stomach, threatening to release his innards – just as examples. His hands are trapped in stocks, however, so Anders rolls onto his side to lever himself up without their use. His vision swims and his head spins as he rights himself and he closes his eyes against a wave of nausea.

"Damn it," he mutters. What happened? The last thing he remembers is arriving at the conclave and then… nothing. His head throbs, sending another wave of nausea through him as he struggles to remember. He summons a small amount of magic to try and ease the ache in his body when he realises something is… wrong. He can't quite figure out what it is and as he tries to think past the strange feeling in his body, a small charge erupts from his hand and he looks down to find a glowing, green mark emanating from his palm.

It feels like magic… but not. Anders has never felt anything of its like before. He wonders if Justice– He goes rigid. Justice. That's what feels wrong. Justice is… gone. Anders frowns. His mind and soul feel… lesser, and more free than they have in ten years. The spirit is simply gone. Vanished. He had wondered many times over the years what it would feel like to alone in his body once more, to have complete dominion over his own thoughts and actions once more, but he never considered that it might actually be possible.

He can't decide how to feel about it.

The strange mark on his hand emits another small burst of magic and Anders flinches.

The door to the cells swings open, letting in a wash of torchlight and Anders squints against it. Two women enter his cell and it takes a moment for his eyes to adjust so can focus on them. One, wearing the armour of the Seekers of Truth, stalks around him, while the other stands and observes. It takes Anders a few moments but he recognises her.

"Leliana?" he gasps. She narrows her eyes at him.

"Was blowing up one Chantry and killing one Revered Mother not enough for you?" the other woman demands. Her accent is neither Orlesian nor Fereldan. Nevarran, possibly, probably. Anders doesn't recognise her. But if she's here with Leliana then she probably works for the Divine. Did somebody turn him in after recognising him at the conclave? Is he about to be punished for what he did in Kirkwall?

Then her words register.

"What are you talking about?"

"The conclave. The Temple of Sacred Ashes was destroyed. The Divine and everybody in attendance is dead. Except you." She stops in front of him and glares down at him. "Do you deny it?"

Anders' jaw falls open slightly. "Everybody… dead? The Divine? All the mages and Templars?"

"Everybody," Leliana confirms. "Some kind of magic destroyed the Temple and its surrounds. Among other things."

"And you think I did it?" Once his head wraps around the fact that hundreds of people are now dead, Anders can understand how this looks. His infamy is, of course, caused by a similar act. The destruction of the Kirkwall Chantry was done in protest, however, in order to prevent a regressive course of action. Destroying the conclave and killing the one woman who could free his fellow mages? There be no justice in that action, it would serve no purpose except exacerbating the current situation. He's done stupid and regrettable things in the past, but he would never do something like that.

"Your history doesn't give us much reason to believe otherwise," Leliana replies coldly.

"I would never," Anders tries.

"Explain this!" The Seeker grips his left wrist and raises his arm. The magic in it sparks once more and Anders flinches slightly. It hurts.

"I can't. I have no idea what it is or where it came from. But I think it vanished Justice! I don't know of any magic that can break a possession."

"Justice?" Leliana demands.

"The spirit he allowed to possess him."

Anders stares up at the Seeker. How did she know about Justice? Mentioning him was spur of the moment, a way to explain how he knew nothing about the odd magic residing in his hand. This Seeker seemed to know a lot about him and Anders couldn't figure out how. Unless…

"Do you know Hawke?" he wonders, staring at her. The Seeker glares at him. She opens her mouth but Leliana places a quelling hand on her arm.

"We need him, Cassandra. Do you know where the Champion is?" Leliana wonders.

Anders drops his head and stares down at his hands.

"Do you remember what happened?" Leliana asks when it becomes clear he will not answer her first question.

Anders shakes his head. "I arrived at the conclave… I don't remember anything after that until… I think I was in the Fade… I was being chased by something. A woman reached out to me and then I only remember bright light."

He shudders as he considers his fuzzy memories. Did he really walk through the Fade? Physically?

"Leliana, go to the forward camp. I'll take Anders to the rift," Cassandra decides, turning to the red-head. Leliana nods.

"Rift?" Anders questions as Cassandra crouches down to unchain his stocks. She ties rope around his wrists instead "What happened to the Temple?"

Cassandra hesitates, closing her eyes briefly. "It will be easier to show you." She helps him to his feet and leads him out of the cells. They're clearly inside a chantry but she walks him outside into bright light. There is a sense of magic in the air and when Anders lifts his eyes, he immediately identifies the source. There is green magic crackling in the sky, appearing as lightning, leading towards a massive opening.

"Is that the Fade?" Anders whispers.

"We call it the Breach. It is the largest of the many rifts that formed from the explosion at the conclave. And yes, it opens our world into the world of demons. It grows larger with each passing hour.

"What kind of magic caused the explosion?" Anders questions, tearing his eyes from the Breach to look at Cassandra once more.

"We do not know. However, as the Breach grows, it may continue until it swallows the world, unless we find a way to close it."

Green lighting cracks above them and the mark on Anders' hand responds, pain surging through his body. He falls to his knees with a cry of pain, cradling his hand close. What kind of magic could this possibly be? He grit his teeth to cut off any further cries. Cassandra crouches before him.

"Every time the Breach grows, your mark expands, and it is killing you," she informed him. Anders looks at her in shock. The Taint is killing him, Justice was driving him mad, and now this is killing him? Perhaps he was truly being punished for Kirkwall and allowing a spirit to enter his body. Cassandra is speaking again. "Your mark may be the key to stopping the Breach, but there isn't much time."

Anders meets her eyes and sees that she truly believes that. She truly believes that he might hold the power to save the world and she wants him to help. Anders swallowed thickly. After everything he has done…

"We don't know anything about this mark, what caused it or what it can do. But… if it might be able to help, well, I have to try," he informs her.

Cassandra's eyes widen. "You will come willingly? Try to help?"

Anders nods. "It's the least I can do… after Kirkwall."

"Right." Cassandra pulls him back to his feet. "Come with me."

She leads him from the chantry and Anders realises they're in Haven, of course, as it is the closest place to set up a base of operations to where the Temple used to be. There are people around them as Cassandra moves him forward, they're glaring and Anders can hear the hissing whispers. They hate him.

"They know who you are. They have decided your guilt, and they need it. They mourn the loss of our Most Holy, Divine Justinia," Cassandra explains and Anders shudders. He focuses on the Breach, tries to ignore the hatred directed his way. He's going to help as best he can, they can demand his death afterwards if they would like to.

They traipse outside of Haven and Cassandra stops him to remove his bonds.

"We need to go to the forward camp," Cassandra explains. "It is the fastest way to the rift."

Anders massages his wrists and meets her eyes. "What will we find up there?"

She doesn't reply and they walk towards the gates together. It's a slow walk up the mountain and Cassandra fills him in on what she knows as they walk. It's a lot to take in and he almost can't believe any of it except there is a giant hole in the sky opening their world to the Fade, the spirit that had possessed him for ten years was suddenly gone – a feat he thought impossible – and the glowing magic on his hand appears to be connected to it all. At this point he really can't do anything but take it all on faith. He would see it all for himself when they reached the temple anyway.

He has to stop several times as the pain in his hand shoots upwards into his body, reacting to the behaviour of the Breach. Cassandra patiently allows him to work past the worst of it before they continue onwards.

They're crossing a frozen river when the Breach releases yet another burst of magic and this time the lightning strikes down directly in front of them and shatters the bridge, tossing them onto the ice below. Anders groans, the throbbing in his hand now compounded by an ache in his body for landing so heavily on the ice. He rolls over and his mark sparks again as the Fade energy swirls over the water. From it emerge two shades.

Anders scrambles to his feet as Cassandra shouts for him to stay back and charges the demons. Clearly she didn't want to make him more of a danger by arming him so Anders is short a staff but he isn't powerless. In saying that, when he glances to the side he spots a staff that must have been thrown down during the bridge's collapse. He runs to it and lifts it, channelling his magic through the weapon and directing it towards the shades in the form of fire.

Together, they make quick work of the demons and Cassandra sheaths her sword as she returns to his side. She doesn't appear pleased with his assistance.

"Put down the staff," she commands.

"Uh, no. If there are demons falling from the sky, I'm not relying on staffless casting to fight them. Which I can do, remember?" Anders replies, raising his eyebrows. Cassandra stares at him unhappily and then sighs.

"Very well. You need to be able to defend yourself, because I cannot." She allows him to sling the staff across his back. "I should remember that you agreed to help."

Anders takes it as the apology it is intended to be and follows her up from the river. They encounter more demons as they head upwards and clear them out easily. As they head towards another rise, the sounds of battle reach their ears.

"Fighting ahead," Cassandra announces.

"Who?" Anders questions. She avoids his eyes, appearing almost guilty.

"You'll see."

That doesn't sound ominous at all, Anders thinks distastefully, but follows her regardless. Ahead there are two figures fighting a group of demons that seem to be appearing from a smaller version of the Breach, one of the rifts Cassandra mentioned. They leap into the battle and Anders doesn't really have time to consider their fellow fighters while concentrating on working past the mark in his hand apparently reacting to the rift.

When the last demon in slain a voice shouts towards him from close to the rift. It belongs to a tall, pale elf.

"Quickly!" he shouts at Anders. "Use the mark!"

Anders stares at him in confusion. The elf leaps towards him and grabs his wrist directing the glowing mark towards the Fade rift. There is a surge of power that vibrates through Anders' entire body and the mark glows brighter and brighter until suddenly it cuts out and, with a pulse of energy, the rift disappears.

Anders heaves in a gulp of air and lowers his hand.

"What…?" he whispers.

"Well done," the elf compliments.

Anders stares down at his hand.

"Fancy seeing you here."

That voice… Anders spins around in shock. Sure enough, a familiar dwarf is hooking a familiar crossbow onto his back and eyeing Anders with vague distaste.

"Varric?"

He thinks he should probably be more concerned with the fact that the strange, glowing mark on his hand closed a Fade rift, but the presence of his former friend is a little higher on his priority list. He hasn't heard from any of them in the years since he left, not that he expected to, and a thousand questions pop into his head but he bites them back. Varric's anger towards him in those last days before Anders decided to head out on his own is vivid in his memory, there isn't any chance the dwarf would answer his questions. Especially not the ones about Hawke.

Instead what he says is, "I see Bianca is still with you. She looks good."

Varric blinks, clearly surprised, and then actually smiles.

"She's doing great. Certainly better than you by the looks of it. Nice work on the rift," Varric replies.

"I did that? The mark can help?" Anders checks, turning towards the mage who had directed his actions. The elf smiles at him.

"I was correct in my assumptions," he nods. "The magic in the mark is somehow connected to the breach."

"You know about the mark?" Anders questions, wondering if perhaps this elf has answers to his thousand burning questions.

"I have studied its effects."

"He means, I kept the mark from killing you while you slept," Varric interrupts. Anders glances at him, wondering if he's imagining the unsaid 'unfortunately' in the dwarf's tone.

"Thank you," Anders says to the elf. "Do you know where it came from?"

"I imagine whatever magic caused the explosion at the temple and created the Breach also caused the mark on your hand. I theorised this would allow the mark to interact with the Fade rifts. It is not a magic I am familiar with however, I have never encountered its like in all my journeys in the Fade."

"Then… we still have no idea." Anders is frustrated. "Could you remove it?"

"I do not believe so. I also believe that your mark may be the only key we have to closing the Breach. Cassandra." They all look over at the Seeker who is glaring at Varric for some reason. Anders suddenly realises how she must know so much about him. Damn Varric and his stories. "You should know that this magic is beyond anything I have ever studied. Your prisoner is a mage but I cannot imagine any mage having access to this kind of power."

Cassandra nods. "Very well."

Anders is suddenly very grateful for the elf's presence, he might have just convinced Cassandra of his lack of guilt. Possibly.

"I'm Anders," he introduces himself to the elf.

"And I am Solas. I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

Anders smiles. "So, you're a mage?"

"Solas is an apostate," Cassandra corrects.

"Technically all mages are now apostates. But yes, I am an apostate."

"And you're helping? Aren't you afraid they might lock you up?" Anders wonders.

"I hope that when this is all over, those in power might remember who helped." Solas smiles and Anders hopes he is correct.

"We need to go to the forward camp," Cassandra prompts Anders.

"Right you are, Seeker," Varric agrees.

"No," Cassandra replies. Anders watches her fix Varric with the same glare he suffered underneath the chantry. "Your help here is appreciated, Varric, but–"

"Have you been down in the valley, lately, Seeker? Your people aren't in control anymore. You need me and Bianca to help you."

"I wouldn't mind having him along," Anders says quickly, before Cassandra can argue. "If we run into another rift, more help might be necessary."

She sighs but ultimately agrees and Varric watches him with confusion.

"What?" he asks as Cassandra and Solas head off in front of them. Varric just shakes his head. "What are you doing here, Varric?"

For a moment Anders is afraid he isn't going to answer.

"I'm a prisoner, just like you," he sighs. "The Seeker came to me with questions after I published my book. She was looking for Hawke apparently. And then she brought me down here, wanted me to tell the Divine everything that happened in Kirkwall so she could understand."

"Understand?" Anders questions.

"Why things need to change." Varric won't say anything more on the matter so Anders follows him silently as he makes his way after Cassandra and Solas. What did he mean by that, though?

Fighting side-by-side with Varric again is strange yet welcome. It's good to know somebody around him amidst all this crazy, especially wondering that if push came to shove, Varric might defend him… possibly. Anders tries not to hope for that but the thought is there. Together the four of them take out various demons on their way upwards and Anders closes another rift right in front of the forward camp.

Inside there are frightened soldiers and Leliana is with a man in chantry garb, arguing loudly. As they move closer he can tell they're arguing about him, the Breach, and whether to stay where they are. They stop as the group reaches them.

"Chancellor Roderick, this is–"

"I know who he is," the man, Roderick, snaps. "He should be sent to Val Royeaux immediately. Not only is he wanted for the destruction of holy ground and the murder of Grand Cleric Elthina, now he has killed Most Holy."

"I did not," Anders snaps. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

Cassandra glares him into silence. The Chancellor is not impressed.

"As Grand Chancellor I order you to take the prisoner to the capitol to face execution!"

"Order me?" Cassandra demanded, turning her glare towards the chancellor. Anders is glad to have it off himself. "You are a glorified clerk. A bureaucrat."

"And you are a thug," the Chancellor replies and Anders is offended on Cassandra's behalf. "But a thug who supposedly serves the chantry."

"We serve the Most Holy," Leliana cut in. "As you well know."

"Justinia is dead. We must elect a replacement and obey her orders on the matter," the Chancellor replies.

"Is anybody here actually in charge?" Anders wonders. All three turn to glare at him at that. Oh right, he is a suspect in the murder of the woman who was in charge.

"Your opinion does not matter in this," the Chancellor snarls. "Call a retreat Seeker. Our position here is hopeless."

Anders wishes he didn't agree even slightly with that statement but he fails to see how the small mark on his hand can have any impact on the gaping hole into the Fade, that is swallowing up their sky.

"We can stop this before it's too late," Cassandra replies.

"How? You won't survive long enough to reach the temple, even with all your soldiers."

"We must get to the temple. It is the quickest route."

"But not the safest," Leliana adds, looking at Cassandra. "Our forces can charge as a distraction while we go through the mountains."

Cassandra shakes her head. "We lost contact with an entire squad on that path. It is too risky."

"Listen to me!" the Chancellor interrupts. Leliana and Cassandra turn twin glares of irritation on him. "Abandon this now, before more lives are lost."

Cassandra appears to wish to argue further but the Breach begins emitting more activity and in response Anders' mark pulses. The sensation vibrate up his arm and he gasps, holding his arm steady with his right hand. Everyone watches him and he looks up warily at Cassandra.

"Anders? How would you proceed?"

"You want me to decide? After discussing my execution in front of me?" he asks through his teeth, irritated with the mark and with the discussion. Can't they just get this over with?

"You are the one we must protect. You are the only one who can do anything about the Breach," Cassandra replies. Anders sighs and glances towards the mountains. It doesn't look safe and honestly, he wants to do this quickly.

"The soldiers. We'll move with the soldiers. Direct. We do this fast," he decides. Varric grumbles behind him but Cassandra nods, a small smile on her face.

"Very well. We charge with the soldiers," she decides.

Chancellor Roderick is not impressed. Cassandra turns to Leliana.

"Bring everyone from the valley. Everyone."

She nods and races off. Cassandra turns to Anders who nods and follows when she turns to leave.

"On your head be the consequences, Seeker," is the Chancellor's parting shot. Anders throws him a glare over his shoulder as he passes. The man is getting on his nerves.

Solas and Varric go with them as they head towards the temple. A group of soldiers moves with them and up ahead they can hear the sounds of battle. Anders' mark begins responding to the presence of yet another small rift. They join a battle already in progress and Anders sends fire into the swarm of demons before concentrating on the rift, closing it the most important task at hand. There is a sound directly behind him and he spins to find a shade swooping up to him but it is blasted back by a powerful bolt to its body. Anders turns to thank Varric but the dwarf has already moved on to the next demon. Anders returns his attention to the rift. After several more attempts thwarted by demons and wisps, Anders succeeds in closing the rift.

"Sealed, as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this," Solas comments as the soldiers around them gaze at him in awe. Anders tries to ignore their looks, even if they are lacking the hate and suspicion of the people in Haven.

"I don't really do anything, it's the mark and whatever magic is in it," Anders shrugs.

Varric joins them. "Let's hope it works on the big one."

"Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift. Well done."

They look over and Anders feels a small jolt of surprise when he recognises the young Knight-Captain from Kirkwall whom Hawke had befriended and assisted. And who had turned on Meredith to fight her at their side in the end.

Cassandra sighs and turns from Cullen to look at Anders.

"Do not congratulate me, Commander. This is the prisoner's doing," she explains.

Cullen looks at Anders who has the sudden desire to make himself feel as small as possible. It could be possible that Cullen doesn't recognise him, won't know who he is immediately. The dark look in his eyes tells Anders otherwise however.

"Is it?" he growls. "Don't think I have forgotten what you did, mage. You still owe justice to Kirkwall and the Chantry."

Anders sighs and looks away.

"Now is not the time, Commander," Cassandra informs him.

"You are right. The way to temple is clear, Leliana will try to meet you there."

"We had best move quickly, then. Give us time, Commander."

Cullen sends one last glare at Anders before nodding at Cassandra. "Maker watch over you."

Anders stares around the charred ground as he follows Cassandra to the ruin that used to be the Temple of Sacred Ashes. There are corpses burned and frozen in place on the ground. The smell is revolting the magic in the air makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

"I can't believe this used to be the temple," he whispers, more to himself than anyone else.

"This is where you walked out of the Fade," Cassandra informs him. "The soldiers who found you said they saw a woman behind you but they could not identify her."

"I remember a woman reaching for me. I don't know who she was either."

"You really don't remember what happened?" Varric asks. Anders shakes his head. "Convenient."

He tries not to let the jab hurt, really it shouldn't considering how everyone around him seems to believe he would kill the Divine, but it does. Varric used to be his friend and despite what he did, Anders still hoped that his former friend would know him better than that. He ignores the pain for now, however, to focus on what comes next. Entering the remains of the temple reveals a larger rift directly beneath the Breach, growing as the Breach itself grows. It hovers far above the crater below them and Anders frowns. The mark on his hand pulses steadily.

"I know I'm tall but I don't think I can quite reach that," he murmurs, staring up at the Breach.

"This rift was the first," Solas informs him. "Perhaps if you can close it, the Breach itself will be sealed."

"You believe that?" Anders questions, turning to look at the elf.

"It is a theory only."

Footsteps echo behind them and Anders turns to see Leliana and a group of soldiers race into the temple.

"You made it!" Leliana exclaims with a sigh. "Thank the Maker."

"Leliana, station the soldiers around the temple. We need to provide backup for Anders as he attempts to close the rift," Cassandra announces.

"I just need to get down there," Anders says, looking back at the rift. It is so much larger than the ones they found on the way up the mountain. He hopes the mark is able to have an effect on it. He turns and follows the rocky path around the temple, looking for a safe place to jump down. Solas, Varric, and Cassandra walk after him but Anders barely notices, his eyes on the rift.

How did this happen? He had been here when this took place. Somehow it resulted in the mark on his hand and a physical trip into the Fade. Why doesn't he remember any of it? What kind of magic is this? There are so many questions buzzing around his head and nobody has any answers for him. The answers actually lie within his own mind and he just needs to find a way to remember. But, if he does, will anybody believe him?

Anders glances over at Varric and doubts it.

They all freeze when a deep voice echoes around the ruins.

" _Bring forth the sacrifice._ "

That voice sounds… familiar, somehow.

"What was that?" Varric wonders.

"Whose voice was that?" Cassandra demands. Anders raises his hands, as confused as the rest of them. The voice continues to speak and is eventually joined by the Divine's cries for help. Anders winces.

"Are you seeing this?" Varric demands, elbowing Anders suddenly. He turns around to look at what has caught Varric's attention and his eyes widen.

"Is that… red lyrium?" he asks.

"It is. What's it doing here?"

They look at each other with wide eyes. Nobody else here presently, except Cullen, had seen exactly what lyrium is capable of. They had thought the only red stuff on the surface had been in Meredith's sword or turned into a rune by Sandal.

"Perhaps the explosion corrupted the lyrium beneath the temple?" Solas suggests.

"Don't touch it," Varric orders. "It's evil."

Anders exchanges another look with the dwarf. If there is red lyrium growing here… Could it be elsewhere? Where could it have come from? And how much of it is there? There is already more here in the temple than had been in the idol they found in the Deep Roads and the damage that small piece of lyrium caused… Anders shudders to think what this much of it might do to the world. He makes a note to discuss it with Varric once this rift is dealt with. The red lyrium shouldn't be ignored.

Anders locates a ledge low enough to drop down into the crater so he jumps down. The others follow him and he begins to approach the rift. Another echo sounds out around the crater but this time he hears, with a jolt of shock, his own voice.

"That was your voice," Cassandra gasps. "Most Holy called out to you. Who was speaking? What happened?"

"I don't remember," Anders snaps. He is as confused as she is and her questions aren't going to make him remember. He approaches the rift and takes a deep breath. There are no demons pouring out of this one. It seems calm. The mark on his hand is pulsing but not in the jarring manner it had when approaching the smaller rifts on the mountain.

"This rift is closed but not yet sealed," Solas explains, moving to his side. "Perhaps the mark can open it and then it may be sealed properly."

"And you think it might close the Breach?" Anders checks.

"Possibly."

"I guess we won't know until we try."

"Very true." Solas smiles.

"We are ready when you are," Cassandra informs him. She turns to the soldiers to ready them. Anders looks up at the rift. Well, here goes nothing. He raises his left hand and just as he wonders if there is some way for him to control the power in the mark it begins to emit larger pulses and then with a shuddering vibration up Anders' arm it tears open the dormant rift. Anders is almost knocked back by the shockwave as the rift drops a huge pride demon in front of him.

"Well, fuck," he groans and leaps out of the way as the demon takes a swipe at him. He presses up against a crumbling wall, out of the demon's sight as the soldiers engage the massive beast. Anders glances around and unhooks his staff from his robes. He directs it towards the demon and summons as hot a wall of fire as he possibly can around it. With his left he directs the power in the mark towards the rift once more. His arm jolts with power but the rift only shudders and releases a group of shades.

"Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it," Anders chants under his breath as he deals with the shades while the others are focused on the pride demon. "I shouldn't have come here. I should have stayed in my cabin. Fuck everything. I hate demons."

He's covered in the black splatter of demon blood by the time they fell the pride demon and Anders is exhausted but he still throws his left hand up and channels his own magic into the mark to, hopefully this time, close the damn rift before another massive demon can crawl into their world. Later on he will consider that he probably used far too much mana to do so because the next thing he knows his vision blurs and the world fades to black with the closing of the rift.


	2. Blasphemy and Heretics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anders wakes to a reborn Inquisition and a new identity. Just when he thought things couldn't get any weirder...

This time when Anders wakes it is in a comfortable bed, wearing clean clothes, and feeling less like he fell of cliff than the last time. It is a definite improvement on the cold stones of the cells under the chantry. He opens his eyes and sits up carefully causing a startled gasp in the room. He looks over to see an elf prostrating herself on the floor.

"Hello?" he greets cautiously.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't you were you were awake!" she cries. "I beg your forgiveness, my lord. I am but a humble servant."

"That's… okay. Where am I?" Anders looks around curiously.

"You're back in Haven, my Lord. They say you saved us. The Breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand."

Anders frowns and looks out the window but he can't see the Breach from here.

"It didn't close then?" he asks with a sigh.

"I'm sure Lady Cassandra will want to know you've awakened. She said, at once."

Anders raises his eyebrows as the elf scrambles to her feet. "Why aren't I in chains?"

"I do not know, sir. Nobody said anything to me about chains. All they talked about was how you saved us from the demons."

"So… they're pleased with me?" Anders wonders. "How strange."

"I do not know, sir. I should tell Lady Cassandra."

"Where is she?"

"In the chantry. At once, she said." With that the elf races out of the small room and slams a door on the way out. He's clearly in a small building. Anders looks around curiously. It is modestly furnished but clean. There's a caged raven in the corner and a set of enchanter's robes laid out. He gets out of bed and walks over to the desk. He finds scribbled notes about a patient, probably himself judging from the discussion of the mark he bears.

He changes into the new robes. His were getting kind of grungy and worn, it's nice to have new things to wear even if they aren't his preferred style. He looks around the cabin some more before taking a breath and deciding to brave the outside. He hopes the people don't decide to attack him now that Cassandra isn't with him.

When he steps outside he pauses as all eyes suddenly turn to him. He braces himself for the hate and suspicion but instead he see people bowing their heads and murmuring soft prayers to Andraste.

"What…?" he breathes as nearby soldiers press their fists to their chests in a salute. He slowly walks past them, still tensed for an attack at any moment. There is still the odd person eyeing him with hints of distrust but mostly people's heads are bowed and they whisper blessings as he passes.

"That's him," one young woman says reverently. "The Herald of Andraste. They say he can save us from the demons. He closed the rift."

"I heard he was meant to close the Breach itself," a young man mutters petulantly in response.

"Hush. He can hear you."

Anders' eyes are wide as he looks away from the pair. The Herald of Andraste? What in the Maker's name are they on about? He hurries past them, no longer wishing to move slowly to avoid attention since he seems to have it anyway. He heads towards the chantry, ignoring all the whispers. It's unnerving and he thinks he prefers when they wanted him dead. That, at least, he can understand. This is just… strange.

"How could _he_ be the Herald of Andraste?" a chantry sister mutters as he passes. "All of this is his fault."

"He probably killed the Divine as well," another responds.

"But… he closed the rifts," a third reminds them both.

He hurries into the chantry and is grateful for the way it shields him from the eyes of the townspeople. He hasn't felt sheltered in a chantry since he was a child so that feeling makes all this even stranger.

Raises voices are coming from the other end of the hall so Anders follows them, recognising Chancellor Roderick, Cassandra, and Leliana. Unsurprisingly they are arguing about him. Again. He sighs and leans on the wall beside the door, listening to Chancellor Roderick demand he be executed for what he did in Kirkwall and at the Temple of Sacred Ashes. Cassandra defends him and he tilts his head, surprised by that. Clearly his actions have convinced her of his innocence and for that he can be grateful.

He heaves another sigh and pushes the door open. He has always loved a dramatic entrance.

"Chain him!" the Chancellor orders. "I want him prepared for transport to the capitol immediately.

"Disregard that. And leave us," Cassandra counters. The guards obey her order for which Anders is relieved. He's willing to face justice for his crimes but not just yet. First he needs to know what happened with the Breach and whether they have another plan for closing it.

"This man has committed more atrocities than I care to mention!" Roderick practically shouts. "He deserves execution!"

Anders thinks that's a bit of an exaggeration. He blew up one chantry, that counts as one atrocity. Potentially two if you want to consider Elthina's death as a separate atrocity.

"I had nothing to do with the Temple being destroyed or the Divine's death," Anders responds. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you. Just because I'm a mage–"

"It has nothing to do with your being a mage and everything to do with your history."

"Wow, blow up one building and start one war and suddenly everything is your fault."

"Enough!" Cassandra shouts over them both. "Chancellor, we need him. The Breach might be stable but it is still a threat and Anders has the only power we know that can affect it."

Anders knew that was coming. "So I continue to help you. Then what?"

"You have done enough. We will inform the new Divine of what you did but I do not expect leniency for you."

Anders throws a glare towards the Chancellor.

"Have a care, Chancellor. The Breach is not the only threat we face," Cassandra informs him.

"We heard Most Holy's voice at the Temple. Whoever was responsible was someone Most Holy did not expect. She called out to Anders for help, not in fear," Leliana added. "We do not know what happened to them. Perhaps they died. Perhaps they have allies who yet live."

The insinuation is clear and Roderick responds with the expected level of anger.

" _I_ am a suspect?"

"You. And many others." Leliana is almost frightening in her convinction. Anders can believe she will hunt down whomever was responsible for the Divine's death and he can bet they will wish they were dead.

"But not the prisoner?" Roderick demands.

"As we said. The Divine asked for his help. Anders was not involved."

"So all of this is merely a coincidence? This man is responsible for the destruction of Kirkwall's chantry, for the death of Grand Cleric Elthina, for the entire rebellion, and you do not suspect he could also be responsible for this? What of the mark on his hand?"

"I'm standing right here," Anders mutters but they ignore him.

"Providence. Perhaps the Maker sent him to us, sent us what we needed in our darkest hour."

"Okay, whoa! I am not some kind of sign of divine intervention or chosen one!" Anders protests. "Really. The Maker and I are not on good terms, alright?"

"I am aware of your history," Cassandra replies. "Perhaps I am wrong about you now when I believe in your innocence. Yet I cannot pretend you were not exactly what we needed, when we needed it."

"The Breach remains," Leliana reminds him. "And your mark is still our only hope of closing it."

"This is not for you to decide," Roderick snarls. Anders is really starting to want to set the man on fire. He doesn't think that would have Cassandra and Leliana remain on his side, however. So, he simply grits his teeth and allows the two women to deal with him. They're quite capable of tearing him to shreds, he is sure.

Cassandra turns around and produces a book. The book bears the same symbol her armour is decorated with. Anders frowns at it. Cassandra slams it on the table and rests her hand on it, glaring at the Chancellor.

"You know what this is," she informs him. "A writ from the Divine granting us the authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn."

Anders stares. The Inquisition? This is the Divine's response to the rebellion?

"We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order. With or without your approval." Cassandra jabs Roderick in the chest furiously as she speaks and the man practically cowers under her stare. He apparently cannot argue any further because with one last glare he storms out of the room. Anders is glad to see the back of him but he can't believe Cassandra's announcement.

"You plan to restore the Inquisition?" he questions as soon as the door slams shut behind the Chancellor.

"It was Divine Justinia's directive," Leliana explains. "Rebuild the Inquisition of old, find those will stand against the chaos. We aren't ready."

"So don't do it," Anders interrupts. She raises her eyebrows at him.

"We have no choice."

"And no allies," Anders adds.

"We must act now," Cassandra continues for Leliana. "Do we have your support?

"I don't think this is a good idea," Anders informs them. "Truly."

"You will not help us?" Leliana wonders.

Anders looks between them and thinks about the Breach in the sky, threatening to swallow the world and spitting out demons. If the mark on his hand is the only thing with any hope of closing it… he can't just abandon them. He's wanted to atone for what he did in Kirkwall, for the people he killed with his action, perhaps this is the way he can begin to do that.

"Alright," he agrees and Cassandra and Leliana appear relieved. "Alright. I'm with you. Let's hope this works out."

"Yes. But with you at our side, perhaps we can fix this before it's too late," Cassandra replies.

"Thank you," Leliana adds. "After Roderick's words you would have been within your rights to abandon us."

"He's a barking dog. Noisy but largely harmless."

They both smile.

"Welcome to the Inquisition, Anders," Cassandra says and holds out her hand. Anders smiles and accepts the handshake. He can trust them not to throw him in prison for now, at least. And maybe Solas is right and at the end of all this, they'll remember who helped.

Anders allowed to leave as Cassandra and Leliana make the preparations to announce the establishment of the Inquisition to everybody who needs to know. Anders is told he will be summoned when the time comes to move forward with their plans. He is grateful to be allowed to leave the chantry. Outside he is still receiving mixed glares, and stares of awe. He ignores them, however, and decides to hunt down the few people he knows.

He finds Varric standing by a fire outside a tent. He looks up as Anders approaches and sighs.

"I suppose it was too much to hope you would take longer before looking for me?" he says with some humour.

Anders winces a little. It's best not to go down that path just yet, he decides. "That was red lyrium at the temple."

"It was. And before you ask, I have no idea where it came from. I thought we had the only piece on the surface. This is… bad."

Anders nods in agreement, he sits down on the ground and Varric looks at him.

"You look exhausted," he notes.

"I feel it," Anders replies. He looks down at his left hand. The mark is quiet for a change, no pulses of energy sending pain up his arm. "Why is it always me? I feel like I have to be cursed at this point."

"According to the Chantry, you are," Varric reminds him.

Anders grunts and clenches his hand. "I didn't close the Breach."

"I was there. You tried your best and it damn near killed you."

"I can think of plenty of people who would think that would be an excellent result." Anders stares into the flames.

"Now is not the time for your pity party," Varric chides. "There's still a hole in the sky and we just became a part of the new Inquisition."

"What was the Divine thinking? Rebuilding the Inquisition… I can't see this ending well."

"When has anything we've ever done ended well?"

Anders can't help a chuckle. "That's the truth." He turns away from the fire to look at Varric. "How have you been?"

"Alright. I was trying to help out with Kirkwall before the Seeker abducted me and brought me down south," Varric explains. "Where have you been?"

"All over the place," Anders shrugs. "I tried not to stay in any one place for very long. The mages didn't want me around and the Templars were hunting for me. It was easiest to keep moving. I heard about the conclave when I was in the Hinterlands. I made my way here with the other mages, hoping I could see something good come of the terrible things I did."

He doesn't say that he was also hoping that maybe Hawke would be there as well, and that he could just catch a glimpse of him, if not a chance to speak with him. It seems Varric knows what he's thinking, though, because he casts him a sad look.

"Do you know where everyone else is?" Anders asks gently.

"Aveline's still in Kirkwall. She has Carver with her, looking out for him, you know? She's doing her best to keep things in order there," Varric replies after a long moment of simply staring at him. Anders is surprised he's willing to tell him anything, more surprised that Varric's even speaking to him in a civil manner at all. He expected more vitriol from Varric than anybody else. "Merrill is also there, looking after the elves in the alienage. Fenris is in the area but he's hunting down all the slavers who were preying on everybody left vulnerable by what happened and the last of the Fereldan refugees. I received a letter from Isabela a few months back and she's doing well, she apologised for bailing on us, but she went back to the raiders. She's calling herself an admiral now."

"Is she actually in charge?"

"I dunno. I figure she's probably just got a really big hat."

They both laugh and it feels like there are still a few unbroken threads between them. Anders wonders what it will take to strengthen those ties to allow him to call Varric friend once more.

"And… how is he?" Anders asks softly. Varric doesn't need to ask who he means.

"Last I heard, he's good. He was helping out mages left stranded by the rebellion. I wrote him a letter, he'll be hearing about all of this soon," Varric informs him in a very quiet voice. Anders looks at him with a frown. "But don't tell anybody you know that. The Seeker is looking for him."

"You don't want him found?" Anders checks, equally as quiet. "Why tell me then?"

"You'd know I was lying. You wouldn't leave it alone. And despite everything…" Varric frowns and crosses his arms. "Despite everything, I know you'll protect him as hard as I will."

Anders turns back to the fire without replying. Varric is correct, of course. Anders would never do anything to endanger Hawke and it's satisfying that Varric is sure of that despite his own feelings towards Anders. Yet… thinking of Hawke still hurts. It's been a few years since Kirkwall, since he saw him, and Anders can still picture him perfectly. But the memory of Hawke's words in the Gallows, their goodbye, is painful.

"Why was Cassandra looking for him?"

"I think they wanted him to join the Inquisition."

Anders is glad Varric didn't tell them how to find him. As much as he yearns to see Hawke, it would only make all of this harder if he were here.

"Varric, I need to say–"

"I know what you need to say and I don’t want to hear it," Varric cuts him off. Anders looks at him. The dismissal hurts but he also understands. The line of Varric's mouth is hard but his eyes are sad. "Maybe one day but right now there's enough going on. I don't have it in me to assuage your guilt."

"I don't want you to," Anders replies.

"Good, then don't say it."

Anders bites his lip and stands.

"I'll make sure Cassandra and Leliana know that it's important to look into the red lyrium. We'll figure out where it's coming from and put a stop to it," Anders promises. Varric stares at him as Anders turns and makes his way towards the cabin he awoke in this morning. It's thankfully empty and he allows himself to collapse onto the bed.

Blessedly alone with his thoughts he sinks onto his back and stares at the ceiling, contemplating everything that has happened to him in recent days. Foremost among his thoughts is the absence of Justice. He had insisted repeatedly over the years that when Justice joined him inside body, their beings merged and they became one. One of thought and of purpose. Anders wonders how correct he actually was about that. There is a distinct difference in his mind state now that Justice is gone. He doesn't feel a tug in the direction of his thoughts, he doesn't feel anything driving him towards justice or vengeance any longer. His thoughts are entirely his own. Maybe there was a chance that Justice had more influence over him, more independent thought, than he realised at the time.

What did that mean about the Kirkwall chantry?

No. He couldn't shift the blame. He blew it up, he killed the Grand Cleric, he killed innocent people. It was him. He can't foist the blame onto a spirit that is no longer a part of him. When this is over, the people will demand retribution, and Anders will face up to it.

It breeds a strange mix of relief and uncertainty to be alone in his body, to have full control of his own mind once more. He only hopes he can make the most of it and do the right thing to help the Inquisition.

The only hope of closing the Breach. That's what Leliana and Cassandra think of him. They're willing to give him a chance for that reason alone. It is daunting to consider. And what of his freedom? Will they grant it to him if he succeeds in closing the Breach? Or will he face justice for his actions regardless?

How does he keep finding himself in these messes?

He digs the heels of his palms into his eyes, the pressure drowning out some of the spinning thoughts in his too-empty head.

He isn't sure this Inquisition is a good idea but Leliana is correct in saying they have no other choice. The world needs to be saved from the danger of the Breach and the Chantry isn't going to step up and do something about it. The Chantry is terrible at action, they prefer to sit back and watch. That thought brings back a surge of his old anger which he tamps down on immediately. Divine Justinia was trying, that what all this fuss is about in the first place, he needs to remember. He isn't sure how involved they are going to make him, it seems Cassandra wants him there for the planning processes and as the only one with any power over the Fade rifts, it's unlikely he will be left out of any work. Yet, the thought of being forced to work closely with Cullen who is apparently in charge of their forces makes him incredibly nervous. The Templar clearly hates him and is one of the many who want his head over what happened in Kirkwall.

At least Cassandra and Leliana seem forgiving. He knows that would not be the case if not for the mark on his hand. However, that elf, Solas, the apostate, he seems friendly enough. Perhaps Anders will just have to spend his time with him, not an unattractive prospect, it's always nice to spend time with other mages and Solas seems particularly knowledgeable about the Fade.

Varric is Anders' main concern. They were friends once and he is willing to do whatever it takes to return to that. It won't be easy but he thinks that if Varric was willing to speak with him and even tell him about Hawke, then it might be possible to repair their friendship. Anders is willing to work for it, to find ways to prove that Varric can trust him again and that he is truly repentant for his actions. He begins to plot out ways in which he might achieve that.

He lies on the bed for a long time, thinking and considering. By the time night falls he realises he hasn't eaten at all that day and he has spent most of it alone with his thoughts, a pastime he used to consider dangerous. He supposes without Justice in his head any longer, it might be a good thing to properly process his own thoughts. But that's no excuse to forget to eat. Hawke used to–

"Nope. Not going there," Anders mutters to himself, sitting up and swinging his legs off the bed. He had gotten very good over the last four years at not thinking about Hawke but suddenly with no extra force inside his mind, he apparently has less control over his errant thoughts.

He leaves the cabin in search of food and finds himself eating alone in a corner of the inn, trying his best to ignore the stares and glares of the townspeople and Inquisition soldiers. It's going to take a long time to get used to being in public again, even longer to get used to the two extremes people around Haven regard him with. They're either in awe or seething with hatred, there is no in between. He finishes eating and escapes back to his cabin and tries to force himself to sleep.

***

In the morning, Anders is woken by the same elf girl as the day before, who informs him Lady Cassandra requests his presence at the chantry. It is barely past dawn but Anders supposes saving the world doesn't allow sleep ins.

(Later he will look back on that moment as he readies himself for the day, and think himself an oblivious idiot for not thinking about the first truly deep sleep he had had in ten years.)

The best thing about being summoned so early has to be the lack of activity between Anders' cabin and the chantry. No stares to avoid this morning. Cassandra is waiting for him inside the chantry and she smiles in greeting.

"How are you feeling? Is the mark troubling you?" she wonders. Anders glances down at his hand.

"I wish the damn thing had done what it was supposed to. Other than that, it's stopped hurting at least," he shrugs.

"Yes, well, it has given us time at least. And Solas believes a second attempt to close the Breach may succeed. Provided the mark has more power. The same levels of power used to create the Breach in the first place."

"That won't be easy."

"No, it will not. Come, there is much to discuss."

She gestures him towards the same room they had spoken in the day before. This time they are joined by Cullen and another woman who Anders met in passing during preparations the day before but had not properly been introduced to. Leliana smiles at him when he and Cassandra take their places around the table in the centre of the room.

"I believe you and Commander Cullen are acquainted," Leliana says after Anders has muttered greetings to the people gathered around the table. It is spread with maps of Thedas today and already there are markers all over it. They have clearly been busy during the time Anders spent staring at a wooden ceiling and contemplating his life choices.

"We met once or twice," Anders replies hesitantly, eyeing Cullen warily. Cullen glares.

"Perhaps holding this meeting inside a chantry is not the best idea," the templar says, looking at Leliana. She tilts her head, eyeing him as one might a child spinning some elaborate tale they desperately wish you to believe.

"Commander, Anders is here to help us," Cassandra reminds him.

"Yes. Something I can't do if you make me Tranquil or try to police my magic, templar," Anders adds mildly.

"Commander Cullen is no longer a templar," Cassandra cuts in before the blond soldier can issue whatever scathing retort is dancing on his tongue. "He is the leader of the Inquisition forces. And I expect both of you to put aside your differences in the interest of said Inquisition."

Anders feels decently chastened and across the table Cullen is looking down at the maps sheepishly.

"Anders, you have yet to meet our ambassador," Leliana began, directing the conversation to safer waters. "This is Josephine Montilyet."

"It is a pleasure to meet you," she greets him with an obvious Antivan accent. Anders smiles in response, and inclines his head.

"Why does the Inquisition need an ambassador?" Anders wonders.

"We are an organisation that requires allies and support to achieve our ends, put simply," Josephine replies. "I am here to ensure that the Inquisition's reputation is a positive one and that our interactions with nobles are handled with the proper care required."

"I see…" Anders hopes he doesn't have to take part in any of these meetings with nobles. "So Cullen commands the forces, Josephine deals with the brown nosing, what do you two do?"

"My position requires a certain degree of–" Leliana begins but Cassandra speaks over her.

"Leliana is our spymaster," she explains.

"Yes. Tactfully put."

"I can see how we would need one of those," Anders nods. He raises his eyebrows at Cassandra.

"I am to be put to the same work as you," she explains. "We will be out in the field, securing agents and increasing the Inquisition's reach. Much like my work for the Most Holy."

"And closing Fade rifts, I suppose."

"Well, you need somebody to make sure demons don't flank you while you're doing so."

Anders smiles at Cassandra's wry comment and turns back to the table at large.

"Well, why am I here exactly?" he wonders.

"We were discussing what would be required for another attempt on the Breach," Leliana explains.

Anders looks down at his left hand. "There isn't enough strength in my body to close that thing. I had to channel all of my mana into this mark to close that huge rift in the temple. If I tried that on the Breach itself… I might die and it would never be closed."

"We are aware," Cassandra sighs. "We need to find a way to channel more power into the mark. Enough so that we can ensure the Breach is closed this time."

"I propose we approach the rebel mages at Redcliffe," Leliana explains. Cullen makes a disgruntled sound and something about the tension in the room tells Anders that this isn't the first time she has made this suggestion. He finds himself in agreement though, if only to spite the irritated former templar.

"And I still disagree," Cullen informs them.

"Surprise, surprise," Anders mutters and cowers slightly when Cassandra glowers in his direction.

"The templars could serve just as well."

"I'm still not surprised," Anders murmurs, looking up at the ceiling. "In what way could templars possibly put power into this?" He holds up his hand and focuses some of his mana into the mark, allowing it to pulse as if a rift were nearby. Cullen flinches in a satisfying manner.

"Templars could suppress the Breach, weaken it–"

"Pure speculation," Leliana interjects.

"I was a templar. I know what they're capable of," Cullen insists.

"I don't think it would work," Anders ponders, mulling over the suggestion seriously for a moment. "You can't feel the Breach the way I can. I don't think Templars have the ability to do what I would need."

Cullen's glare made Anders feel like crawling under the table, it appeared he might be seconds away from a smiting.

"This discussion is rendered moot considering we do not have the influence to approach either group successfully at this time," Josephine stated, her voice a little strained, clearly wanting to diffuse the tension crackling between the two men. "The Inquisition needs steadfast allies and support before we can enter into discussions with either side."

"Why can't we speak to either of them?" Anders wonders.

"The Chantry has denounced us," Cassandra explains.

"And you specifically," Josephine adds.

"Note my lack of surprise," Anders replies, folding his arms uncomfortably.

"Some are calling you, the apostate responsible for the Kirkwall rebellion, the Herald of Andraste," Josephine explains.

"Not this again." Anders presses his hands to his face. "I am the last person who should be considered a divine prophet or herald or whatever. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Despite your feelings on the matter, it is what others believe that counts," Cullen explains stiffly.

"The remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy. And we, heretics, for harbouring you. It limits our options." She shrugs helplessly. "Approaching the mages or templars for help at present is impossible."

"So, once again, the Chantry proves itself incapable of action even when the lives of the innocents it proclaims to protect are in danger," Anders notes. "Of course."

"The Chantry does not believe us capable of stopping the Breach," Cullen explains. He still sounds stiff but there is a reluctant note of agreeableness in his tone. Clearly Anders is not the only one annoyed with the lack of action on the Chantry's behalf.

"The Chantry is telling everyone you will simply make it worse," Josephine adds.

"Of course."

"There is something you can do," Leliana speaks up. They all looks at her. "A Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak with you. She is not far and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable."

"A revered Mother wishes to speak to _me_?" Anders wonders.

"Yes. She has asked for your specifically."

"Well, perhaps she intends to put a knife in my back as soon as it is turned."

"She doesn't seem the sort to involve herself in violence."

"That you know of."

"I know many things, Anders. I do not think she intends to kill you." Leliana smiles at him sweetly and it is terrifying. "You will find Mother Giselle tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands, near Redcliffe."

"Sending him might not be the best idea," Cullen suggests hesitantly.

"She has asked for him specifically," Leliana replies.

"I will accompany him," Cassandra declares. Cullen hesitates but nods.

"While you are in the Hinterlands, perhaps search out ways to extend our influence?" he asks. Cassandra nods since the suggestion was directed at her and not Anders. It seems Cullen does not wish to entrust important tasks to Anders.

"Scout Harding's report is here on the table. She is waiting to meet you in the Hinterlands to update you on the situation," Leliana informs them.

"We will leave as soon as we are ready," Cassandra says. "We will take Solas and Varric with us, as well. They will prove useful in the heart of the conflict."

The meeting is ended with that so that they can prepare to leave and Anders follows Cassandra back into the chantry hall in a slight daze.

"Am I really going to talk to a chantry cleric? You know they all hate me don't you?" he wonders.

"Forgiveness is taught to us by the Chant," Cassandra replies. "I do not imagine she intends to proclaim you a heretic the second she sees you."

"You can't know that," Anders replies. "Cullen might be right, as much as it pains me to say, it might be best if I'm not there."

"Nonsense. She asked for you by name. Go and pack the things you will need. We leave within the hour."

She shoos him away and Anders wanders towards the cabin he thinks must be intended as his by now to pack the essentials. They're heading in the heart of the mage-templar war and there will be heavy fighting. There will also be many wounded and he intends to assist where he can. After all, he is still one of the most skilled spirit healers in Thedas, heretic or not. He packs lyrium potions aplenty into a pack and some poultices and herbs. He also packs a second set of robes, and wraps them around a pair of daggers to hide in his pack. There are going to be many templars around and he might be forced into a situation where he can't cast.

"This is madness," he sighs as he picks up the pack and his staff. He can't believe he agreed to any of this and now he's walking into the middle of a conflict where both sides are calling for his head. "Why can't I learn to stay tucked away in hiding places? Why do I do this to myself?"

Anders leaves his cabin and finds Varric by his tent, also with a pack. The dwarf makes eye contact with him and holds up his hands.

"So, looks like we're going adventuring together again," he says.

"Seems like it," Anders replies.

"Is this a good idea?"

"Probably not but Cassandra and Leliana insist. I'm starting to think their friendliness is a ruse and they actually want me dead."

Varric frowns up at him and then scoffs. "If they wanted you dead, I think you'd know it. Come on. The Seeker is waiting for us by the stables. I don't think she's a patient woman so we should go and meet her."

Anders nods and follows Varric out of the gates, his steps growing heavy with each one he takes. He has a bad feeling about all of this but unfortunately he doesn't really seem to have a choice about any of it. He glances up at the sky. Andraste's knickerweasels, could things get any stranger?


	3. Maker's breath I'm not the flaming Herald of Andraste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone in the Hinterlands wants Anders to be the Herald. Anders just wants to fix the mess he made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took a while. I'm terrible at the slow introduction parts of stories, they frustrate me. I'm looking forward to writing the next chapter though. We're getting to some of the companions in the next chapter. And Dorian will be making his entrance sometime soon and god do I adore Dorian so I can't wait to write that. No Hawke yet, sorry. Also soon we will hit some canon divergence, exciting!
> 
> I'm enjoying creating a friendship between Anders and Solas. I feel like their natures would actually mesh quite well together. I hope I'm doing all these characters I love justice and none of them are terribly out of character. Enjoy :)

The trip south to the Hinterlands will take two to three days, dependent on whether they are waylaid by anything. At least that time provides Anders with the opportunity to better learn about Cassandra and Solas. Or, perhaps just Solas. Cassandra is far too focused on their mission to speak of personal matters. Solas, on the other hand, is more than happy to ride his horse alongside Anders' and answer his questions about the Fade and the elf's studies.

"Were you self-taught?" Anders wonders. Solas seems amused by his endless stream of questions that began roughly an hour outside of Haven. He can't help himself, though, Solas has been an apostate his entire life. There is so much knowledge that he can share, things he learnt that the Circles could never have discovered. Anders had always longed for the freedom to study magic how he desired, but once free he had too many other things to attend to, first as a Grey Warden and then as a freedom fighter.

Anders has quizzed Solas on his childhood and discovering his magic. On his dreams, on the memories he observed in the Fade. He has asked probably far too many questions and he still has many more. Solas doesn't seem annoyed with him, however, on the contrary, he appears delighted to share his knowledge with somebody who is willing to listen and learn and ask intelligent questions. It is difficult to tell with elves but Anders had assumed they were roughly the same age, yet Solas speaks to him and with such a wisdom that Anders is revaluating his initial assumption; Solas is probably older than he is.

"Mostly," Solas replies. "I had much knowledge shared with me by spirits I met in the Fade."

"You learnt from spirits?" Anders is amazed. He hasn't met anybody besides himself willing to speak of spirits as something other than pre-demonic creatures. "Which ones?"

"Wisdom and Purpose are two I have close bonds with."

Anders feels a wave of envy. The things a spirit of Wisdom might know.

"I understand you also formed a friendship with a spirit," Solas says when Anders has been quiet for a longer pause than previously. He looks at the elf warily.

"Justice was trapped outside of the Fade. We felt the same way about many things. I… regret allowing him into my body, however. My anger perverted him and he was no longer the Justice I knew," Anders explains honestly. He figures of all the people within the Inquisition, Solas will understand. Solas studies him with an expression Anders cannot decipher. "I could no longer identify the difference between justice and vengeance. Neither could Justice himself."

"Perhaps it is for the best that the magic that created your mark exorcised it," Solas suggests carefully. "Or you might have truly become an abomination."

"Was it the magic, though?" Anders gives voice to a thought that has been prodding at him since he learnt what had occurred. "Or was it my trip into the Fade? I was there physically. What if Justice was able to leave my body?"

"Return home, as it were?" Solas questions. "Perhaps. True possessions are so rare considering that until the Breach, demons and spirits did not often have the opportunity to appear physically in our world, or vice versa. I cannot be sure which event was the true trigger for its disappearance. It might even have been both."

"I hope he left me in the Fade," Anders sighs. "It comforts me to think he might have been able to return to his former self away from my perverting influence."

"Surely you considered at the time how your own personality might have affected it inside your body?" Solas asks.

"I… did." Anders hesitates. "I think it was a case of my egoism taking over. I thought that because I knew Justice, and I desired justice for my fellow mages, that we were of one mind and would not detrimentally affect one another. That we would not be an abomination. I was very wrong."

They are both silent for a time.

"You understand your mistake," Solas states. "Perhaps you should view this separation from the spirit as a chance to learn from that mistake."

"What? Don't make friends with spirits anymore?"

Solas actually laughs, a quick bell-like sound. Anders can't help a small smile. "It would be hypocritical of me to suggest such a thing. I only meant that next time you make friends with a spirit, do not offer them possession of your body."

It was serious advice despite Solas' light tone.

"Don't worry, I never intend to do that again."

It had been sheer arrogance to think he could avoid the pitfalls of spirit possession. Allowing Justice into his body had nearly destroyed both of them. His life had undergone drastic changes and he had lost so much because of his decisions under Justice's influence. And Justice, poor Justice, he wasn't truly himself anymore because of Anders' own thoughts and feelings. He had almost destroyed the poor creature's very nature with his own selfishness. They weren't good for each other, in the end, and it will be best if Anders doesn't make that mistake a second time.

"Tell me about another memory," Anders says, wishing for a distraction from his thoughts.

"I dreamt at Ostagar once," Solas informs him. Anders' eyes widen. "Yes. I witnessed the brutality of the darkspawn and the valour of the Fereldan warriors. I watched the Hero of Fereldan and Alistair light the signal fire and Loghain's infamous betrayal of King Cailen."

"I knew her, the Hero of Fereldan, when she was Warden-Commander. She didn't speak a lot about Ostagar. What did you see in the Fade?"

"Well, it is the Fade," Solas replies cryptically. "I did not see the truth as one might believe it, I saw many truths, the truth of each soul who had been present."

"So, you saw Loghain as both a villian and a hero?"

"That is correct. The Fade shows reflections of this world, of the thoughts and feelings and memories of the people in it. The truth is more complicated than we want to believe it is, as the truth for many people is whatever they experience."

"Are you two still yapping about the Fade?"

They both look ahead and find Varric has slowed his horse to draw back with them, apparently tired of riding too close to Cassandra without the other two as a buffer. Anders has discovered on this ride that Varric was telling the truth in that Cassandra doesn't like him due to his not being able to contact Hawke for her. Anders keeps his mouth shut about that. Like Varric, the idea of Hawke being here makes him nervous. Anders has done enough to Hawke, he doesn't need to be caught up in his mess again. Thankfully he has the excuse that Hawke ended their relationship and he hasn't seen or heard from the man in close to four years, so Cassandra isn't likely to hound him for information on his former lover.

"Solas knows more than I do. I could literally sit here and talk to him about it for days and still have new questions," Anders replies. He glances at Solas who appears pleased with the compliment despite himself.

"And I would be delighted to answer all of them," Solas replies, inclining his head towards Anders.

Well, at least one person around here seems to like him, Anders muses.

Varric appears amused by the exchange.

"The Seeker wants us to stop soon to water the horses. Don't leave me alone with her again, Chuckles. She dislikes me more than you. I've recounted the tally. I have more death threats."

Solas lets out a small laugh. "Well, I did stop receiving them when my theory about the relationship between Anders' mark and the rifts proved true."

"Lucky for you." Varric sounds disgruntled and Anders coughs to cover up his laugh. He apparently did a bad job because Varric glances sideways at him. "Just you wait, as soon as you do something she doesn't like, she'll start threatening to have you killed as well."

"Well, that already happened. I think she stopped when I agreed to help without too much fuss," Anders replies, a little smugly.

"So it's just me? This isn't fair."

Anders and Solas both laugh causing Cassandra to look back at the three of them with a suspicious glare.

They do stop to water the horses and eat before continuing until nightfall. The second day of travel goes much the same way, with Solas and Anders discussing the Fade, Anders' mark, Solas' journeys, and other magical topics, much to Varric's dismay, while Cassandra leads the way and remains largely silent. On the morning on the third day they finally arrive at the Inquisition campsite. They allow several soldiers to tend to the horses and head to where one of the men tells them Scout Harding is waiting for them.

A dwarven woman is reading through a report when they find her and she looks up at their approach. She puts the parchment aside and steps around the table to meet them. Her eyes are on Anders and she looks slightly awe-struck.

"Herald of Andraste," she greets and Anders bites back his irritation. He wants to find and slap whoever decided to dub him with that ridiculous title. "I've heard the stories, everyone has. We know what you did at the Breach, and we know who you were before that. I know there are still a lot of people who want to see you pay for Kirkwall but you'll get no backtalk here, that's a promise."

Anders' irritation ebbs away a little at the dwarf's words.

"Scout Harding?" Anders checks.

"At your service," she replies, a slight smile twitching at her lips. She isn't what Anders expected, that's for sure, but then that's probably why she's one of Leliana's. Leliana probably chooses her scouts for qualities that make them difficult to pick as spies. "All of us here are ready to do whatever we can to help."

"Harding, huh?" Varric speaks up and Anders looks over at him. "Ever been to Kirkwall's Hightown?"

Harding frowns, clearly confused by the question. "I can't say I have. Why?"

"You'd be Harding in… Oh, never mind."

Anders resists pressing a hand to his face, barely, and Cassandra appears a breath away from smacking the back of Varric's head… or worse. Anders is pleased he isn't the only one who finds Varric's jokes ridiculous. At least Hawke isn't here; travelling with the pair of them had been unbearable at times, they both had the same stupid sense of humour.

The thought of Hawke sends the familiar spike of pain through Anders' chest so he focuses back on Harding.

"Can you give me a rundown of the situation here?" Anders questions. Harding tears her eyes away from Varric and switches from baffled to businesslike in a second.

"We were originally sent here to secure horses from Redcliffe's old horse master," Harding explains. "I grew up here. And people always said that Dennet's herds were the strongest and fastest this side of the Frostbacks. But with the mage-templar fighting getting worse we couldn't get to Dennet, Maker knows if he's even still alive. Mother Giselle's at the Crossroads, helping refugees and the wounded. Our latest reports say the fighting has spread there, too. Corporal Vale and our men are doing what they can to help protect the people, but they won't be able to hold out very long. You best get going, no time to lose."

Anders watches Harding return to her reports and he turns to the others. He fights back the pang of guilt that sprang up when Harding explained that the war between mages and templars is causing trouble for the people of this area.

"To the Crossroads?" he suggests to Cassandra, who nods.

Though sore after days in the saddle, the four of them gather their weapons and head out from the Inquisition campsite, towards the Crossroads. Harding was correct about the treatment Anders receives from the scouts and soldiers in the camp – though they side-eye him with curiosity and a little fear, nobody whispers or says a word as he passes with the others. He is here to help and that seems to be all the men and women in the camp care about. Anders can accept that uneasy truce with gratitude.

Cassandra directs them towards the Crossroads and as they draw closer the sounds of fighting become evident and Anders unhooks his staff from his back, drawing magic to his hands in preparation for whatever they might find as they continue warily along the path.

"Templars!" Cassandra announces when they finally come into sight of Inquisition soldiers fighting.

"Help the Inquisition soldiers protect the people!" Varric suggests, loading Bianca with several bolts.

Anders' feels anger surge inside his chest as it usually does at the sight of templars and he casts a fireball towards the fighting, carefully casting a barrier between the Inquisition soldiers to protect them from the heat as it blasts the templars back, giving their allies much-needed relief from the battle. Cassandra leaps into the fray with a cry, shouting that they are not apostates but the templars do not seem inclined to care either way which incites Anders' fury further.

Anders once again witnesses Solas' incredible power and casting ability, as they standing together to assist the fighting from a distance. The elf's talent is immense and Anders becomes distracted enough that he almost doesn't notice the apostates creeping up to their right.

"Watch it!" Varric shouts and a bolt whizzes past Anders' face, striking an apostate in the neck and sending them sprawling, blood bubbling up around the protruding bolt where they lay on the ground not ten feet from Anders. He stares in horror.

"We are not templars!" Solas calls as he sends ice flying towards the other mages.

"I don't think they care, Chuckles," Varric grunts, firing more bolts.

Anders is frozen for a moment, unable to think of casting on his fellow mages. He sees one of the apostates raise their staff, electricity gathering at the tip and directed towards Varric. It only takes a split second more of indecision before Anders summons another fireball, as hot as he can make it, and throws it at the mage, setting them alight. Their screams grate at his hearing and he closes his eyes, turning away from the sight. Perhaps he is no better than the templars.

"It is done," Cassandra's voice announces, breaking him from his self-pity. She is sheathing her sword as she approaches them, looking around at the scattered bodies of mages, templars, and civilians, all dead, all gone from this world because of Anders' own selfish pride and thirst for vengeance.

"I… never intended this," he whispers. He closes his eyes once more and presses his hands to his face, trying to erase the images of the dead, their unseeing eyes accusing him of condemning them to this fate. It is the first he has truly seen of the fighting between mages and templars, having tried to avoid it for the last few years.

"What's done is done," Varric replies harshly. Anders flinches at his tone. "Up to you now to right your wrongs."

Anders raises his head. Now is not the time for his self-pity to consume him, he is here with a job to do for the Inquisition. Varric is right, of course, he has to right these wrongs. Only he can do so. And it begins with helping stop this madness. Cassandra is standing, watching two Inquisition soldiers hang a banner proclaiming the area 'Under the Protection of the Inquisition'. It settles Anders a little. They are now obligated to assist these people. Good. She salutes them and turns back to their little group.

"Mother Giselle is up there," Solas says, indicating a small hut above them, outside of which are bed rolls, each laid upon by an injured soldier or refugee. A woman in Chantry dress is kneeling among them. That must be the revered mother asking after him. Anders remains convinced she wishes him harm but he walks towards the steps that will bring him up to her makeshift clinic. There are many injured up there and Anders' fingers practically tingle with his desire to kneel down and assist with the healing.

As he approaches he catches the end of the Mother's words.

"There are mages here who can heal your injuries," she is saying in a gentle tone. Anders hesitates, surprise causing him to falter.

"Don't let them touch me, Mother," the soldier spits. "Their magic is–"

"Turned to noble purpose. Their magic is surely no more evil than your blade."

Anders is truly shocked now and finds himself unable to approach the woman who has already defied his every expectation. He no longer knows how this conversation will go, and is being forced to reconsider his heavily ingrained preconceptions of Chantry members.

"But…" the soldiers tries to protest and the Mother shushes him gently.

"Allow them to ease your suffering," she requests. The soldier relents and lays back, allowing a nearby mage to approach carefully and respectfully begin healing the worst of his injuries.

Anders remains frozen in place, staring as Mother Giselle stands and turns. She spots him and a flash of mixed emotion crosses her face before she smiles at him.

"Anders, am I correct?" she asks, approaching him. Anders fights back the desire to flee.

"Yes. Mother Giselle?" Anders finally replies, his voice rather strained.

"I am. Thank you for coming."

"I must confess I am not sure why you asked for me," Anders says to her, remaining tense and wary. Just because she seems sympathetic to mages does not mean she does not harbour righteous fury at him for the murder of Elthina.

Mother Giselle smiles. "I have hear that the people are calling you the Herald of Andraste. I have also heard what you did at Haven for the Inquisition."

"That's why I'm here?" Anders wonders. He looks over at the soldier being healed. "You… you are working with mages. Convincing soldiers to allow themselves to be healed."

"Magic is not evil," Mother Giselle responds. "That is not what the Chantry teaches. We teach that pride is evil – and does not corrupt only mages. As evidenced by this foolish war."

Anders stares at her, struggles to comprehend her words. Does she actually believe that? "Yet the Chantry only says that magic must not rule over man, it says nothing about other forms of power. I grew up in the Circle, I know the Chant."

Mother Giselle contemplates him carefully. "I did not ask you here to debate Chantry teachings, Anders."

"Then why am I here?"

Mother Giselle gestures away from the hut and Anders follows her as they walk to look out over the Crossroads. Cassandra, Solas, and Varric are helping the Inquisition soldiers clean up after their battle. Anders tries not to look at the bodies being piled up.

"I know of the Chantry's denouncement," Mother Giselle explains and Anders looks at her. "And I am familiar with those behind it. I won't lie to you, some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the new Divine."

Anders can't help his scornful huff. "Of course they are."

Mother Giselle smiles at that. "Some, however, are simply terrified. So many good people, senselessly taken from us…"

Anders feels another spike of anger. "That is no excuse for inaction. How many times is the Chantry going to stand back and passively allow tragedies to occur? Divine Justinia was the only one of you prepared to take action and now that she's gone it's back to this? Back to doing nothing as the world burns around you?"

If Justice had still been present in his body in that moment, Anders knows he would have lost control to the spirit so he is grateful that his words are entirely his own and now he is unlikely to actually lash out at the woman beside him. Mother Giselle, for her part, seems unmoved by his furious words.

"They don't know that. This is my point."

"How can they not know that doing nothing only makes things worse?" Anders demands. His voice has risen with his anger and he knows he's drawn the attention of his companions below, who are watching them now, ready to step in should Anders be unable to reign in his temper.

"Go to them," Mother Giselle suggests. "Convince the remaining clerics you are no demon to be feared. They have heard only frightful tales of you since Kirkwall. Give them something else to believe."

"You want me to walk in Val Royeaux, the most wanted apostate in all of Thedas, and what? Ask the Chantry to play nice with me?" Anders asks, incredulous. This woman is insane, that has to be the only explanation for her suggestion. "They'll execute me on the spot."

"You are no longer alone." Mother Giselle glances down at the Inquisition soldiers standing with Cassandra, Solas, and Varric. Anders follows her gaze briefly. "They cannot simply imprison or attack you."

"They will probably try," Anders replies, folding his arms.

Mother Giselle sighs softly. "Let me put it this way. You needn't convince them all, you just need some of them to doubt. Their power is their unified voice. Take that from them, and you receive the time you need."

"Uh huh."

"I don't know if you've been touched by fate or sent to help us… but I hope. Hope is what we need now. The people will listen to your rallying call, even if you do not believe they can, given your history. You will give them something to believe in when they need it most. It is up to you, I believe, to build the Inquisition into a force that will deliver us… or destroy us."

Anders feels a chill at her words. She cannot be right. He is not that man, he does not have that power, nor does he want it. He wants her to stop talking. Now.

"I will go to Haven," Mother Giselle decides. Anders wishes she would just leave him be. He doesn't want to hear the things she says: the convenient lies she wants herself to believe nor the strange ideas she has for Anders' role in all of this. "I will provide Sister Leliana with the names of those in the Chantry who would be most amenable to a gathering. It is not much, but I will do whatever I can. I hope you do the same, Herald."

Anders flinches at the title and watches Mother Giselle walk away from him. He lets out a deep sigh and presses a hand to his face. There's a headache beginning behind his eyes and he very much wishes, once again, that he'd decided to stay in his cabin when he'd heard word of the conclave. His moment of self-flagellation doesn't last long.

"Are you Anders?"

Anders turns his head to find one of the mages who had been helping Mother Giselle watching him.

"I am," he replies.

"I thought so. I'm sorry to disturb you but… I was at the Calenhad circle."

Anders studies the mage's face for a moment and then shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I don't remember you."

"We weren't there at the same time." The young woman offers him a small smile. "I heard that you are one of the most talented Spirit Healers to ever pass through Kinloch Tower. Would you mind assisting us? There are so many wounded from the fighting."

Anders holds back another flinch of surprise. A request for his healing abilities was not something he expected from any mages in this area. He nods once and follows her to the bedrolls and allows himself to be put to work. Healing is the magic he is most naturally gifted at, of all the powers at his disposal. He has always gained so much contentment from the act of healing, despite its tiring weight, and at this moment that is what needs most. He allows all other concerns to float out of his mind as he focuses on his work, and for a short while he is at peace.

Cassandra comes to find him a few hours later. She watches him heal one last refugee before gesturing for him to follow her.

"We have spoken with Corporal Vale," Cassandra informs him as they walk away. Anders' limbs feel shaky and he gratefully accepts the lyrium potion Solas holds out to him when they reach the elf and dwarf waiting for them. "The refugees here are in need of food, blankets, and a healer. Though I suppose you have assisted with much of that final need."

"I cannot be here full time," Anders replies.

"No, you cannot. What did Mother Giselle say to you?"

"She is going to Haven to give Leliana the names of clerics who might meet with us. She wants me to go to the capitol and speak with them, convince them of the need for the Inquisition."

"Is she crazy?" Varric wonders.

"Probably."

"She is right. We should speak with the Chantry," Cassandra disagrees.

" _I_ shouldn't," Anders mutters. "Do you know how fast they'll have me killed if I set foot in Val Royeaux? Why is that so hard for you people to comprehend?"

Solas looks between the three of them impassively.

"Despite that concern, Cassandra and Mother Giselle have a point. Speaking to the Chantry might allow us to approach either the templars or rebel mages for the aid we require to close the Breach," Solas says, clasping his hands behind his back. "And if not, it will at least allow us a better idea of what is happening with the Chantry at this time other than their denouncement of the Inquisition and declaration of Anders as a heretic."

Anders snorts. "Oh yes, brilliant idea."

"I hate to say it, but I agree. It's dangerous and incredibly not smart," Varric states.

"We've never been known for doing the smart thing though." Anders glances at the dwarf who smiles slightly. "And yet, I'm not inclined to go willingly to certain death right at this moment."

"Regardless, until Mother Giselle confers with Leliana, we will not be able to meet with anybody," Solas declares. "Perhaps our time would be best spent assisting the refugees and Inquisition soldiers here?"

"Solas is right," Cassandra agrees.

"I want to help the refugees. That I can agree with," Anders relents. "They need food? And blankets? I think those are things we can easily provide."

"And we might find a healer in Redcliffe village," Varric adds.

"There is also a camp of mages somewhere in the woods north-west of here. And a templar encampment to the west," Cassandra adds. "Clearing those out would also be helpful to the refugees."

"Let's get to work," Anders suggests.


	4. Everyone Wants to Kill Anders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone wants to kill him and Anders just wants to do his job. Also why is every elf he meets so crazy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a terrible terrible person. Forgive me. This happens all the time. I write too many things at once so I get distracted easily and then I can't write anything. Anywho, have a nice long chapter in reparation. I'm also struggling a little with Anders at the beginning of this story. I'm torn between feeling as though I have made him too passive and feeling that an Anders who has been all alone, on the run, for four years might be changed and less rebellious than he once was. What do you all think? Have I made him too OOC or do you also think he might be a little more placid and generally exhausted after years on the run?
> 
> Oh and some notes about my Warden Commander used in this story (one of many, many Wardens I have, probably my favourite). Alassea Mahariel is a Dalish rogue with some impressive bow skills who survived the Blight alongside Alistair. Alistair had a child with Morrigan and survived slaying the archdemon to remain with the Wardens. Alassea's beloved Leliana spent some time with her before she left to serve the Divine; Alassea missed her deeply but knew it was important to her love. Anders was both terrified and a little infatuated with Alassea, mostly terrified though.
> 
> You will get to know which my Hawkes I used for this story in a little while.

After a week spent roaming the Hinterlands, Anders, Cassandra, Varric, and Solas have provided more than enough food, warmth, and shelter to the refugees in need at the Crossroads. They have also, with the assistance of Inquisition soldiers, cleared out as many of the apostates and renegade templars as they could, allowing safer movement around the countryside for civilians. The attitude towards the Inquisition's presence in the Hinterlands has improved drastically with their actions and Anders is able to feel positive about their work despite his own difficulty in turning his magic on his fellow mages.

With the renegade templars and rebel apostates gone, they're able to make their way to Dennet's farms. The old horsemaster is in need of their assistance before he's willing to send his horses to Haven for the Inquisition. There are possessed wolves attacking the farmers and Anders can see one rift behind the farm houses and he can feel another one close to where they set up camp for the area. It's been a long week closing rifts and assisting civilians and Anders can feel it tiring him in a way he hasn't felt in quite some time.

Despite that, however, he picks up his staff and heads towards the rift he can see, the other three following after him.

"Your Worship!"

Anders pauses and turns to the Inquisition scout chasing after them. None of the Inquisition soldiers or scouts, nor the refugees for that matter, here in the Hinterlands have stopped calling him by that wretched title so he has unfortunately learned to answer to it. This scout has a raven on their shoulder and is holding a small scroll in their hand.

"Word for you, from the Nightingale!" the scout announces, holding out the scroll and dipping their head respectfully.

Anders accepts the parchment and thanks her, unrolling it.

_Anders,_

_With the names provided to me by Mother Giselle I have managed to arrange a gathering in Val Royeaux's marketplace. Word of your actions on behalf of the Inquisition has reached the capitol and they have expressed interest in having you speak with them. Return to Haven as soon as you are able so we may discuss the matter further._

_Leliana_

Anders passes the message to Cassandra to read when he is finished.

"They're going to arrest me," he states, scratching at his beard. Going back to Haven sounds like a good idea; he needs to shave, desperately, and a change of clothes wouldn't go amiss. Though it would be entertaining to show up appearing a dishevelled and smelly traveller – the clerics would be outraged and disgusted. It wouldn't be good for diplomacy but Anders might get a laugh out of it.

"Perhaps that is their intention," Cassandra concedes. "It does seem unusual that they would desire to speak with you."

"The apostate who blew up a chantry and started the mage rebellion?" Anders chuckles dryly. "Of course they want to arrest me."

"We will discuss it with Leliana and the others back in Haven."

"We still have rifts to close here," Varric protests. "And there are people we haven't helped."

"It is important we speak with the clerics," Solas counters.

Anders looks at the rift they'd been approaching. "Let's close this one. We'll leave for Haven this afternoon once supplies have been prepared. Dennet offered us those horses so we'll be able to get back to Haven quickly. And don't worry Varric, we'll come back. I'm the only one who can close the damn things and I refuse to leave a single one floating around like that."

Varric still doesn't seem happy but he is more than willing to follow Anders towards the rift and provide his assistance against the demons crawling out of it. It's only afterwards when Anders is dripping with yet more demon blood and ichor that he realises he essentially issued orders to Solas, Varric, and Cassandra (of all people) and they merely accepted his words and followed his lead. He isn't sure how to feel about that realisation as he traipses to the pond by their camp and strips out of his robes to clean himself up before their journey back to Haven.

***

Arriving back at Haven heralds no fanfare much to Anders' relief; however, he and Cassandra are barely out of their saddles when they are ushered immediately to the chantry to meet with Leliana, Josephine, and Cullen. Anders would really appreciate bathing in water that isn't a pond or river, and being able to shave before standing around the war table. As it is he stinks of horse sweat and dust and campfire smoke, exactly as if he'd spent the last two weeks travelling and fighting and living even rougher than he had when he was in hiding after Kirkwall. His beard is beginning to itch, as well, and he wants it gone. He doesn't really have the face for a beard – that's what Alistair told him whenever he became too scruffy back at Vigil's Keep.

"What do we know of the clerics requesting this meeting?" Cassandra asks as soon as the swift greetings have been exchanged.

 _A bed_ , Anders thinks, _a bed would be just as nice as a bath right now._

"I have sent scouts to the capitol to ascertain the situation. It seems the request for a meeting is sincere," Leliana replies. "A Revered Mother Hevara is the driving force behind the gathering."

"How sure are you that I'm not about to be  arrested and killed?"

"We won't be sending you alone," Leliana assures him.

"We shouldn't be sending him at all," Cullen replies. "He has a point, they may simply be attempting to lure him in for execution."

"And yet I find having the Herald address the clerics not to be a bad idea," Josephine mused. "Even if they may not agree with our opinion on his position, people are inclined to listen to somebody with an infamous reputation."

This isn't turning out the way Anders had hoped. His wishes for hot water to scrub himself and a soft bed to sleep were slipping further and further away with each passing moment.

"And risk losing our only source for closing the rifts?" Cullen counters. "It isn't worth it to prove a point to a bunch of posturing fools."

"I don't like doing this but I'm on Cullen's side. I shouldn't go."

"They have asked for your presence," Josephine explains. "It would be an insult not to attend and it would reflect poorly on our fledgling operation."

She's guilt tripping him, he knows it, and yet Anders feels himself softening at her words and expression.

"It might also gain us the status we need to approach the mages or templars for their help with the Breach," Leliana adds.

Anders hates these conniving women, he decides. Why does he always seem to find himself mixed up with overly intelligent and strong women who can push him around? It's beginning to become a habit. First Warden-Commander Mahariel, then Isabela and Aveline, now Cassandra, Leliana, and Josephine. Will it never end?

"How many people would you be sending with me?" Anders sighs.

"I will attend, of course," Cassandra promises.

"My scouts in the city will be keeping watch. We will not allow them to unlawfully arrest you. They do not have the authority," Leliana promises. Anders doesn't think they care much about authority, the Chantry will go to any lengths to have his head. Despite that, he agrees to their plan, if only because he trusts Leliana. They nail out the details of their travel and the meeting and then Anders and Cassandra are finally released to recover from their journey.

Anders requests a tub of hot water to be brought to his cabin and he gratefully scrubs the grime of travel and outdoors living off his body and shaves his beard off. Feeling clean once more, he decides to eat before sleeping off his exhaustion. He steps outside and contemplates asking Varric to join him for dinner, a small offering after the relatively amicable camaraderie they had shared in the Hinterlands, when he spots Leliana's hooded figure striding from the front gates towards her pavilion in front of the chantry. He changes his direction and follows after her. He has no doubts she knows he is following her but she doesn't deign to address him until she has settled by her makeshift desk of crates and pulled a piece of parchment close.

"What can I do for you, Anders?" she wonders.

Anders hesitates. Why did he decide to follow her?

Leliana watches him with a half smile but it doesn't reach her eyes. They only met the once, in Kirkwall, and that had been a dark time and so Anders didn't think on it then, but now he realises that Leliana doesn't reflect well the stories he heard from Alistair and the Hero of Fereldan. She doesn't radiate the joy and love for life that Alassea always waxed poetic about when she drank too much.

"Should I write to Warden-Commander Mahariel and tell her you're trying to get me executed?" Anders says.

Leliana laughs lightly. "I assure you, the last thing I want is to see you executed. And you're probably correct in thinking Alassea would be quite upset if I caused such a thing, she was always quite fond of you. She mourned you, you realise? She thought you were dead along with the others even though they didn't find your body."

Anders' stomach twists with guilt. "I had to leave."

"Because of the spirit Justice?"

"Among other things." Anders shifts his weight between his feet. Leliana's unwavering stare is beginning to unnerve him. He should have just gone to Varric and asked him to join him for supper. "How is she?"

"She is well, as far as I know. She is in the West, on a personal quest. She only writes every few months." Leliana's hard eyes make it difficult for Anders to discern if the time between letters is worrying for her. She changes the subject swiftly, anyway. "I promise you this meeting in Val Royeaux will be useful to us and I will not allow them to imprison you."

For some reason, Anders believes her. "And I promise you that they're going to try."

Leliana smiles, it is a dangerous expression. "Perhaps. But 'try' is as far as they will get." She contemplates Anders for a moment. "Are you sure you don't know how to get into contact with the Champion of Kirkwall?"

It's a sudden and strange change of topic and Anders' stomach lurches uncomfortably. Dinner is suddenly less appealing. Leliana watches his face closely as he reacts to the question. His hands clench and he sighs gently.

"I haven't seen or heard from him in almost four years. No, I cannot get into contact with him. And if Varric can't, then I assure you it's impossible. If he doesn't want to be found, you won't find him."

"You don't like speaking about him."

Anders looks at her dryly. "Not particularly, no. I'm sorry to have bothered you Leliana." He turns on his heel to leave her pavilion.

"You aren't bothering me, Anders."

He hesitates only a moment but continues on his way back out. A conversation about his ex-lover is the last thing he wants to have right now. He sees Varric on his way to the inn and to his surprise Varric asks him to eat together. They sit down to a table and Varric orders for him and then stares hard at Anders until he eats the entire meal. It's nice, Anders realises. Varric doesn't speak about Hawke, but occasionally mentions one or two of their old friends, and he has warmed to Anders over the last couple of weeks so their conversation is friendly. Anders truly missed having companionship over his years in hiding and this is a welcome change.

***

Travelling to Val Royeaux is not the same relaxed journey that they made to the Hinterlands. The closer they move to the Orlesian capitol, the more Anders' feeling of dread grows. He is moody and sullen on their final days of travel, refusing to engage with either Solas or Varric. He can see Cassandra casting him frustrated and worried looks. He knows she is concerned that with his mood his magic will be out of control or that he is more susceptible to possession.

"Cheer up," Varric says to him the final hour before they reach Val Royeaux. "You're sucking all of the leftover happiness from the world."

"I'm preparing to walk into my execution," Anders shoots back, refusing to look in his direction.

Varric chuckles. "Oh, don't worry. I won't let them execute you."

Anders is startled into looking over. A small ray of hope blooms in his chest. "You won't?"

"Of course not," Varric replies with a grin, "I promised Fenris he could be the one to kill you."

Anders scowls. "I'd prefer you just let the Chantry take care of it." He kicked his horse to ride up beside Cassandra, ignoring Varric's protests. He knew the dwarf would refuse to ride next to the Seeker and he wanted to avoid him for the time being.

When they reach the city Anders makes to leave his staff with the horses but Solas stops him with a gentle hand on his wrist and a shake of his head.

"If this becomes a fight, we will need you to be at full casting ability," he advises.

Anders looks over at Varric and sees that he is checking his arrows. When he feels the mage's gaze he looks over and nods once, slipping Bianca back into her halter. It seems that Cassandra is the only one among them who is hopeful this will not turn violent as she does not appear to check her weapons – though, comfortingly, she does bring her sword and shield with her when they enter the  city.

The dark murmurs and furious cries of an angry mob reach Anders' ears before they even step through the gates of the city's marketplace where the meeting is supposed to take place. An Inquisition scout is waiting for them at the gates, glancing nervously over her shoulder.

"My Lord Herald!" she gasps when she spots the group walking towards her. She drops to her knee and Anders holds back his groan. The sound of the angry mob is growing louder.

"You are one of Leliana's," Cassandra notes. "What have you found?"

"The Chantry mothers gathered in preparation for this meeting… along with a great many Templars. They have been rallied to anger by Lord Seeker Lucius and Mother Hevara, claiming the Inquisition seeks to destroy the Chantry," the scout explains.

Anders raises his eyebrows.

"I thought they wished for a peaceful discussion," Solas states.

"They say the Inquisition has proven its nature by holding a known apostate and rebel mage as the Herald of Andraste, that our heresy and threat cannot be tolerated."

"They requested this meeting," Cassandra points out. "They asked for us to come."

"I do think Mother Hevara intended for the meeting to be peaceful but then the Lord Seeker arrived and he seemed to have no such intentions."

Anders sighs. "I did warn you," he mutters to Cassandra.

"We must attend," Cassandra insists. "We cannot allow them to spread fear of us among the people. They need to know we exist to help fix the chaos."

Anders meets her eyes for a long moment and then sighs softly, resignation making itself known. He nods in agreement and they warily continue into the marketplace. The only comfort Anders can find is in the weight of his staff across his back, knowing that his magic is there to call upon when this goes wrong.

They are greeted by the cacophony of angry voices belonging the crowd gathered on the far side of the marketplace. They approach around the side. Standing on a platform before her audience Mother Hevara is proclaiming the Inquisition's heresy and Anders grits his teeth. She is looking out over the gathered people so it does not take her long to spot them.

"There! You see? They bring the heretic apostate with them now!" Mother Hevara calls and silence falls over those gathered. It isn't complete silence, there is the buzzing of angry whispers darting about. Anders largely ignores them. The scout told them Lord Seeker Lucius and a group of Templars were also present but he cannot see them among the crowd. "This is the man who murdered our Divine, who destroyed sacred ground in Kirkwall, and they have rewarded him by proclaiming the Herald of Andraste."

"Not this again," Anders mutters.

"We say this is a false prophet!" Mother Hevara continues, her voice rising and the crowd's anger following suit. "The Maker would not choose one who abhors and opposes our Chantry in our hour of need!"

Cassandra opens her mouth to respond but Anders speaks faster.

"I _do_ oppose the Chantry!" Anders shouts. Cassandra glares at him but he ignores her. "I do oppose the morals and ethics of a corrupt institution. I oppose the Chantry's history of genocide. I oppose its tolerance of generations of systematic abuse and oppression of mages and elves. I oppose its constant state of inaction in situations where it should make itself known and step in. Inaction does not make you innocent, in fact it makes you as guilty as those who commit the crimes. I oppose the Chantry and I refuse to allow the Inquisition to become guilty of the same crimes. I do not believe I am Andraste's herald but I _will_ close the Breach and I will help the Inquisition restore order. If that makes me a heretic then so be it, at least I will have made an effort to fix my mess, the Chantry can't say the same thing."

"Despite what my companion says, the Inquisition does truly, only seek to end this madness before it is too late!" Cassandra adds, her voice insistent and sincere. Anders glances at her. She honestly believes whole-heartedly in what they are doing.

The sound of clanking armour reaches Anders' ears and he turns to see Lord Seeker Lucius and a group of Templars walking towards the gathered crowd.

"It is already too late! The Templars have returned to the Chantry. They will face this 'Inquisition' and the people will be safe once more!"

Anders looks at the Lord Seeker's face. The expression doesn't speak of a man who has returned to the fold. He is glowering at everyone, Mother Hevara included. Anders' suspicions are confirmed when the large man backhands the Mother to the ground, to gasps of horror from those around the raised dais.

"She had a big mouth but that wasn't necessary," Anders comments, fingers twitching as he gathers magic into them, ready for a fight.

"Lord Seeker Lucius," Cassandra calls out, "it is imperative we speak with you."

"Do not address me. Arrest the apostate," the Lord Seeker snaps. His Templars move towards their small group, the civilians around them shouting and running out of the way, but arrows fly down and force the Templars back. Leliana's scouts must be hidden high out of the way.

Anders and Solas have their staffs in hand and Varric is aiming Bianca directly at the Lord Seeker. Cassandra's hand is on her sword but she doesn't draw it yet.

"Lord Seeker, this is unnecessary!"

"It absolutely is. I should have you arrested as well for your shameful actions: creating a heretical movement and raising up an apostate mage as a false prophet. If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. The only destiny that demands respect is mine," the Lord Seeker announced. "I will see the Templar order into a power that stands against the Void and the dangers of magic. We deserve recognition and independence. Now–"

"Make one more move towards us and I'll put an arrow through your Lord Seeker," Varric announces. "Are you very sure you want to start this in the middle of Val Royeaux?"

The Lord Seeker looks around warily. The Templars shift uneasily, most still looking up, attempting the find the archers who had fired on them moments earlier. Lucius' face scrunches into a harsher snarl.

"Templars, Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection and the Inquisition beneath us. We march." He turns on his heel and strides off purposefully, his Templars following him warily.

The four of them don't relax until the Templars have marched out of the marketplace, the clanking of their armour fading into the distance. Solas is the first to lower his weapon, Cassandra the second to relax. Anders and Varric remain tense.

"That was not what I had hoped for," Solas sighs.

"Charming fellow," Varric huffs.

"Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone completely mad?" Cassandra demands, turning to the group.

"I told you this was how things would go," Anders replies. He meets Cassandra's gaze and raises his eyebrows. "And do you really want to hear my opinion on the man in charge of the Templar Order?"

She opens her mouth and then sighs. "No, I suppose I do not."

"What now?" Varric wonders, lowering Bianca a fraction.

"We should return to Haven and inform the others what transpired," Cassandra decides.

Anders turns to look at where the Chantry sisters are gathered around the injured Mother Hevara. He considers walking over for a moment, offering his aid as a healer, but he knows they would spurn him. And he would rather not give them an opportunity to attempt to arrest him. It makes his heart ache to leave somebody in pain when he could help but it is for the best. So he follows when the other three begin walking but halts when an arrow lands in the stone before them.

"What the heck?" Varric wonders, peering at it.

Anders looks up. "None of Leliana's scouts would have shot at us."

"There appears to be a note attached," Solas points out. Anders ducks down and plucks the note from the arrow and reads it aloud to the others.

"'People say you're special. I want to help, and I can bring everyone. There's a baddie in Val Royeaux. I hear he wants to hurt you. Have a search for the red things in the market, the docks, and 'round the café, and maybe you'll meet him first. Bring swords. Friends of Red Jenny.'" Anders turns to Varric. "Wasn't it the Friends of Red Jenny who used to pay us to clear the streets of the gangs in Kirkwall?"

"I think so?" Varric replies. "That was a while ago."

"What are those drawings supposed to be?" Cassandra asks, peering over Anders' shoulder at the parchment.

"The things we're meant to be looking for?" Anders guesses.

"We do not have time for this!"

"Hang on a minute, Seeker. If somebody is after Anders, we should know who they are and what they want," Varric suggests.

"There is merit to that," Solas agrees. "We do not want anybody following us back to Haven."

Anders looks around at Cassandra and smiles in what he hopes is a winning way. "It's worth a little look."

She glares. "Fine."

"Alright, let's find this first one around here somewhere."

They set off on their makeshift scavenger hunt. They end up with three bright red handkerchiefs with notes attached. An Orlesian noble is following them around Val Royeaux – Solas confirms that he has seen a few masked figures covertly ducking around corners when he looks around. They also have a location in the city and a time which Anders presumes they are meant to go there. The final handkerchief also has a key attached.

"Very well," Cassandra agrees before Anders even has to ask.

"We're getting along so well," he tells her and she stalks off in a huff.

That night they arrive at the dark courtyard in an obscure part of the city. Anders has his staff in hand, prepared to be attacked. Sure enough there is a small group of mercenaries in the courtyard. Anders and Varric dispatch them quickly and quietly. When no more seem to be about they approach the end of the courtyard where there is a door. They hurry through and Anders grabs Cassandra and pulls her out of the way of a large fireball flying in their direction.

"What…?" she gasps, staring.

"Herald of Andraste!" The voice is pompous and Orlesian. Anders is really starting to despise his new title. A masked Orlesian noble walks towards them, hands on his hips and monologuing in a boring way. "How much did you expend to discover me? It must have weakened the Inquisition immeasurably."

Anders blinks and stares. "No, no, not really. Since I didn't even know you existed until right this second."

"You don't fool me. I'm too important for this to be an accident! My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere!"

Anders opens his mouth, intending to reply to the ridiculous claim when another of the man's guards seems to die. An elf appears from behind him, holding a large bow and looking rather angry.

"Just say 'what'," she commands, drawing her bow.

The noble appears angry. "What is the–"

The elf shoots him. She pulls a face as she hooks her bow back onto the quiver on her back. Anders approaches the man's body warily.

"Squishy one, but you heard me right?" the elf says, amused and delighted apparently by the man's death. She walks up to Anders with a smile. "'Just say what'. Rich tits always try for more than they deserve. 'Blah, blah, blah. Obey me! Arrow in my face!'."

Anders can't help the widening of his eyes as she speaks.

"What…?" he says softly.

The elf turns back to him, smiling. It makes her more terrifying.

"So, you followed the notes well enough. Glad to see you're… and you're a mage." She sounds aggravated.

"Um, yes? Did you not know that? I thought everyone knew that." Anders look around at his companions for help but they all appear just as lost as he is.

"I mean, it's all good, innit?" the elf hurries to reassure him. "The important thing is you glow? You're the Herald thingy?"

"I… glow?" Anders frowns. "Do you mean Justice or… this?" He holds up his left hand and activates the anchor briefly. The elf flinches back slightly.

"Dunno what 'justice' is but yeah, I heard you do that." She points at his hand. "So you're the Herald?"

"I wish people would stop calling me that." Anders rubs his forehead. "Why did you bring me here? Who is he?"

"No idea, I dunno this idiot from manners," the elf chirps, grinning again. She is unnerving Anders to no end. "My people just said the Inquisition should look at him."

"Your people? The Friends of Red Jenny?"

"No, people people, who need the Friends." She turns to the side of the courtyard. "The name's Sera. This is cover, get 'round it." When Anders only stares at her she huffs. "For the reinforcements. Don't worry, someone tipped me off about their equipment shed. They've got no breeches."

Sera (apparently – can he even be sure that's actually her name?) snickers like a child at that thought and grabs her bow as the doors at the top of the courtyard burst open with incoming mercenaries. Anders grabs his staff and has a moment of clarity.

"Why didn't you take their _weapons_?" he demands as he draws on his magic and channels it through his staff. Behind him he can hear the other three taking up offensive positions. Sera only cackles in response to his question and rushes in the fray.

It is a quick fight, the five of them manage to take out the entire group of mercenaries with ease. Once the last man has fallen with an arrow to his throat, courtesy of Varric, Anders slings his staff across his back and approaches Sera warily. She turns to him with a delighted grin etched across her face.

"Friends really came through with that tip," she cackles, "no breeches."

Anders turns to Varric who lifts his hands in confusion. Cassandra and Solas both appear extremely disapproving. He turns back to Sera and she is still smiling. It is starting to creep him out.

"So, Herald of Andraste, you're a strange one," she informs him.

 _She's one to talk,_ Anders thinks before tilting his head in her direction. "Thank you?"

"I'd like to join."

"Join? Join what?"

"You! Your Inquisition."

"It isn't _my_ Inquisition," Anders protests. "Why do you want to join? Are you really a Red Jenny?"

"Sure am!" Sera replies proudly. "You know who Friends are?"

"I met a couple in Kirkwall," Anders nods. "Why do you want to join?"

"That big, scary, rip in the sky needs dealing with. I hear you're the one to do that. I want to help." Sera nods, self-satisfied.

Anders frowns. "Can you offer the aid of other 'Friends' of yours?"

"Here's how it is," Sera announces, throwing her arms about. Anders is beginning to regret asking. "You 'important' people are up here, shoving your cods around. 'Blah, blah, I'll crush you. I'll crush you…'" Sera makes a kissing face and Anders coughs to cover up a laugh. Accurate description of the higher echelons, he can concede. "Step down, you've got big lords with big purses, like the tit we killed."

"You killed," Anders corrects. Sera gives him an unimpressed stare.

"Look, my point is that his grand plan was ruined by a scrap of paper torn from his desk and a red sock, by someone who couldn't read it. The little people all those big important nobs tread on are the ones who send us messages. You don't just need the rich tits, you need the people too. What do you think?"

Anders can't help a smile. When he glances back at Varric he can tell the dwarf feels the same way. Neither of them has known much nobility really. When they first met, Varric lived in an inn in Lowtown and Anders lived in an abandoned warehouse in Darktown. Hawke was the reason either of them even had much contact with nobility in Kirkwall. Having Sera's 'friends' on their side might not be too bad, considering the Chantry was scaring the nobility into thinking they wanted to destroy the world.

"Alright, Sera. Do you know the way to Haven?"

"Yes!" Sera pumps her fist in the air. "Get in good before you're too big to like, that'll keep your breeches where they should be. See you in Haven, Herald, this will be grand."

" _Please_ stop calling me Herald," Anders sighs. Sera laughs and skips off.

"Was that truly wise?" Solas questions once she is gone.

"Probably not but I don't think I've done anything wise in about fourteen years," Anders replies, a confused smile still sitting on his face.

***

At Haven Anders is accosted almost immediately by an irate quartermaster and a frustrated Josephine.

"That… that _girl_ is terrorising our visiting guests!" Josephine bursts out.

"She has raided all the stores!" the quartermaster adds.

Cassandra gives Anders a wry look before striding off towards the Chantry. Varric and Solas also escape quickly and Anders sighs. Their message is clear, he let Sera join, this is his mess to clean up.

"How long has she been here?" he asks.

"She arrived several hours ahead of yourself, Your Worship," the quartermaster replies.

"How much could she possibly have done in a few hours?"

Josephine thrusts a list of complaints at him with her lips pursed. Anders scans it briefly and rubs his neck.

"I'll speak with her. But first, Cassandra and I would like to make our report."

Josephine frowns and then nods. "Very well. Leliana and Cullen are waiting for us in the chantry." She gestures ahead of her and Anders leads the way out of the stables and into the village. He can hear a commotion in the tavern and he holds back yet another sigh. If that is Sera…

"We heard of your encounter with the Templars," Josephine informs Anders as they approach the chantry doors.

"You heard?" Cassandra wonders.

Cullen and Leliana meet them inside the door.

"My agents in the city sent word ahead, of course," Leliana explains, having heard the tail end of the exchange.

"Of course," Anders echoes mildly. He wonders if he will ever find Leliana less terrifying.

"It's a shame the Templars have abandoned their senses as well as the capitol," Cullen grumbles, folding his arms. Anders bites back the words longing to escape, now isn't a great time to bait the former Knight-Captain.

"We needed to meet with the Chantry to find out if they could be reasoned with. We know they can't be and we know they aren't a real threat to our operations," Anders replies as they head towards the war room. Cullen grunts in soft agreement. "Always so loquacious."

"At least now we have the opening we need to approach the Templars and mages," Josephine says quickly before Cullen can respond to Anders' sarcasm.

"Do we?" Cassandra questions.

"I think Lord Seeker Lucius made it pretty clear what would happen if I went anywhere near the Templar Order," Anders muses.

"He is not the man I remember," Cassandra agrees.

"True. He has taken the Order somewhere, but to do what?" Leliana muses. "My reports have been… very odd."

"We must look into it," Cullen says decidedly. "I'm certain not everyone in the Order will support the Lord Seeker."

Anders mimes retching behind Cullen's back and Josephine hides a smile before adding her opinion.

"Or the Herald could simply go to the mages in Redcliffe," she suggests. "We received an invitation this morning from Grand Enchanter Fiona requesting an audience with the Inquisition."

"How do we know it is actually from her?" Cullen questions.

"We do not but it might be a wise idea to investigate," Leliana replies. She frowns thoughtfully. "It is not unusual that she might avoid approaching us in person, not sure of our allegiances at this point."

"Or perhaps she has no interest in speaking to me," Anders shrugs. "A lot of the mages aren't my biggest fans."

"And for that reason we should avoid them. The mage rebellion is unorganised, they could be worse to approach than the Templars," Cullen argues.

"Worse to approach than a group that has announced their intention to destroy us?" Anders turns to Cullen with a serious expression. "You have faith in them, fine, but think about this. They hate me and they want me dead. Do you truly believe they would willingly work with us? Even if I am the only source we have to close the rifts?"

Cullen opens his mouth and then closes it. His expression tenses and then he presses a hand to his forehead as his shoulders slump.

"You have a point," he agrees quietly. Anders ignores the way Josephine and Leliana exchange shocked glances. He privately revels in this small victory. "Very well. What is your opinion?"

"I think we should look into the Grand Enchanter's invitation," Anders considers. "If it turns out to be a trick or a trap we should realise soon enough. And if we exhaust all other options, then we can try approaching the Templars."

"I agree," Leliana murmurs. Cassandra and Cullen both nod after a moment's hesitation.

"In the meantime the Inquisition needs more agents," Josephine comments. "Perhaps that is something we should work on while we arrange a meeting with the mages."

Anders tilts his head in acknowledgement of the request. Cullen and Cassandra head off while Josephine returns to her office. Leliana hesitates and approaches Anders slowly.

"What is it?" Anders wonders.

"It is a matter of personal importance," she says quietly. Anders nods. "Several months ago the Grey Wardens of Ferelden vanished. I sent word to those in Orlais but they have also vanished."

"Vanished?" Anders feels a small jolt of shock.

Leliana nods. "Ordinarily I wouldn't even consider the idea they could be involved in all this, but the timing is… curious."

"It really is," Anders agrees. He feels a strange sensation, as though he is forgetting something important. It is the same niggling idea that has been prodding at him for weeks now but he can't quite put his finger on what it is.

"Cullen and Josephine do not agree but I cannot ignore my suspicion. Two days ago, my agents in the Hinterlands heard word of a Grey Warden by the name of Blackwall."

The name sparks a memory in Anders. Alassea hated the Orlesian Grey Wardens. She used to speak of them disparagingly. She mentioned, reluctantly, that one Warden Blackwall sounded a decent sort, and might be the only halfway acceptable Orlesian.

"Do you want me to find him?"

"Please. It would put my mind at ease."

"Have you contacted Alassea?"

"I have written to her but I do not expect a reply anytime soon." Leliana frowns. "I do not want to consider the Wardens responsible but there may be more going on than I thought. I would like to hear what Blackwall has to say."

Anders agrees and Leliana heads towards Josephine's office. He finally has an opportunity to rest but first he supposes he should take care of the Sera problem. He turns to leave the chantry but immediately outside the door he is stopped by a handsome man in armour. Anders looks at him curiously.

"Can I help you?" he wonders.

"I've been trying to speak to somebody for hours but nobody has given me any time," the man explains. "I'm Cremisius Aclassi with The Bull's Chargers mercenary company. We mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra."

"Oh?"

"We got work of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering on the Storm Coast," Cremisius continues. "My company commander, Iron Bull, offers the information free of charge. If you'd like the see what The Bull's Chargers can do for the Inquisition, meet us there and watch us work."

Anders considers Cremisius for a moment. "Your merc band wants to join the Inquisition?"

"Iron Bull thinks you're doing good work. Ordinarily we accept the first real offers that are made to us for work but this time he has gone out of his way to seek you out."

"This Iron Bull… what is he like?"

"He's one of those Qunari, big guys with the horns?"

"Yeah, I know 'em." Anders shudders at the memory of the Arishok and his sword, swinging hard at Hawke as he nimbly danced backwards, firing spell after spell at the huge beast.

"He leads from the front, he pays well, and he's a lot smarter than the last bastard I worked for," Cremisius continues, sounding defensive. Anders' revulsion must have shown on his face more than he thought. He forces his expression into something more neutral and nods.

"And he wants to work for us?"

"He would like to give you the opportunity to decide if you want us to work for you. Come to the Storm Coast, see for yourself."

Anders wonders if he should discuss this with the others before he makes a decision, especially since his last recruitment made Josephine so mad at him. Then again, the Inquisition needs allies and agents. Anders' memories of the Qunari in Kirkwall are so horrible because of the destruction they wrought. Having one on their side might not be bad. If he has a mercenary company then he is probably Tal-Vashoth and therefore not answerable to the Qun.

"I will need to discuss it with the others but I'm sure we will be interested in discussing terms," Anders answers carefully.

"Thank you. I'll see you on the Storm Coast." Cremisius nods formally at him before turning and striding towards the gates.

Anders takes a breath and turns in the direction of the tavern. Time to corral his new elven ally.


	5. Mages Are Not Slaves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LIVE!
> 
> I warned you that I am not a great updater so thank you for your patience, if you are still reading this story. Anyway, I'm actually churning through a lot of ideas for this right now so hopefully I will have a whole lot more of it written a lot more quickly.
> 
> I don't actually know how I feel about this chapter, I'm trying to get through the boring pre-In Your Heart Shall Burn parts so I can get to the juicy parts of the story but I still want it to be good because important things happen before Skyhold so I'm working on that balance. Not sure I'm achieving it. There are a few bits I like about this chapter. The ending especially. I love angry Anders, he is awesome.
> 
> Enjoy!

"What does traipsing up and down the countryside have to do with closing big, green, and scary?" Sera demands as Anders ushers her towards the stables.

"Cullen is interested in working with the Bull's Chargers so he wants us to go and take a look while Leliana and Josephine arrange our meeting with the mages in Redcliffe," he explains.

"Yuck. More mages. Not that there's anything wrong with _you_ exactly but magic just makes my skin all crawly. Keep it away from me."

Anders smothers a laugh with a cough. "Yes, well, I need more mages to help me close the Breach."

"Don't see why I gotta go, too."

"Because I have a feeling Josephine will murder you if I leave you here. Do you have any idea how much grief you're causing me with her?"

"Miss Snooty-ambassador-pants needs to pull the stick out o' her arse."

"You're making her job hard. Couldn't you go easy on the nobles she needs to impress?"

Sera snorts and it's all the response Anders needs. He's telling the truth. Josephine and Cullen practically ordered him to take Sera with him to the Storm Coast to meet with the Bull's Chargers. He was correct in assuming they would be interested in working with the group and so Cullen agreed that Anders should take a group north before returning to the Hinterlands to meet with the mages, as Josephine believes it will take some time to arrange their visit.

Anders, Varric, Solas, and Cassandra will be reluctantly joined by Sera as they travel to the very north of Ferelden to the Storm Coast. Cassandra appears less than thrilled by the prospect as they saddle their horses and load the saddle bags.

It's a long trip to the Storm Coast from Haven, Anders simply hopes they do not murder each other in the interim.

As it turns out, Varric keeps Sera distracted with his wild stories and they trade lecherous jokes, each one filthier than the last to the point that even Anders feels his cheeks heating at the exchanges. He elects to ignore them both and engage Solas in further discussion and debate about magical theory and application.

Things grow heated when blood magic is brought up.

"It's evil," Anders spits.

"It is magic like any other," Solas disagrees. "As with any force of power or weapon, in the wrong hands it can be used for evil purpose but it is not evil in nature."

"It involves communing with demons," Anders protests.

"Only if one does it with that intent. A mage who seeks to simply widen their connection to the Fade, ignoring the voices of the demons, may use blood magic to do so. Using their own blood, or the blood of a willing participant can widen their connection to the Fade and strengthen their magic. It does not _have_ to require deals with demons."

Anders scoffs. "I've never heard of anybody using blood magic who doesn't use a demon's power to bolster their own."

"Many who practise blood magic do so with the intent of enormous power and thus require demons." Solas gazes at Anders seriously. "Blood magic is a means to an end, nothing more."

"Nothing more? _Nothing more?!_ " Anders huffs furiously and glares forwards. "Say what you will. You've clearly never seen the things I have, seen the sorts of the blood mages I've had to deal with. You weren't in Kirkwall."

"No, I was not." Solas sounds angry now, rather than merely frustrated. "But I guarantee I have seen more than you ever will and have a far vaster experience with magic than you could ever hope to possess, human."

Anders rolls his eyes. They're almost the same age and even if Anders was raised in a circle tower, that doesn't mean Solas has had _that_ much more experience than him. In fact, Anders is positive Solas is _younger_ than he is.

"Why are all the elves I know crazy?" Anders mutters to himself, ignoring Varric's snort of laughter behind him when he hears the words.

He and Solas do not apologise to each other for their heated exchange but that night they converse about magical theory the same way they had before the disagreement and Anders is grateful. He feels as though Solas is one of the only people who actually seems to _like_ him these days, even if it's only a little, and he doesn't want to lose that.

"So, we're going to meet a Qunari." Varris settles down beside Anders when Solas has retired to his tent for sleep. Cassandra has also retired and Sera is stalking around the edges of their camp. Anders isn't sure what she's doing but it doesn't seem sinister so he ignores her.

"Apparently. Cullen is interested, their references checked out. Lots of praise from nobles in Orlais and Ferelden," Anders replies, poking at the fire with a stick. When it catches alight he lifts it out and watches the flame eat away at the wood. "Not sure how I feel about it, to be honest."

"Thinking about the Arishok?"

"Aren't you?" Anders tosses his burning stick into the fire and looks at Varric. "I still have nightmares about it sometimes. Dreams where he wasn't fast enough and that huge Ox-man skewered him on the end of that sword."

"Can't say I don't imagine the same sometimes," Varric agrees. "And Kirkwall's streets burning. Innocents lost to Qunari swords."

"The Viscount's head thrown at our feet. Children trampled in Lowtown, small bodies…" Anders shudders. "I treated so many of those people we saw dead in the streets. In the end I couldn't save them."

"We tried." Varric sighs. "Hopefully this Qunari is… better."

Anders chuckles darkly. "It would be hard to be worse. You know, I almost wish Fenris was here."

Varric stares in silence and Anders watches him with growing amusement.

"I'm sorry, I think I just hallucinated. Could you repeat that?" Varric says. "I just thought I heard you say you wish _Fenris_ was here?"

Anders laughs. "I actually said I _almost_ wish he was here."

" _Why_?"

"He knows so much about the Qunari. It would be helpful. What if this Iron Bull is really devout or something and we accidentally offend him and start a war with the Qunari? Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine will never forgive me."

"If it's helpful, I doubt a Qunari with a mercenary band in Ferelden could be that devout. _And_ he is interested in meeting with us. We'll be fine. Get some sleep, we've got another long day of riding tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after."

Another laugh escapes Anders. "Why couldn't he pick somewhere closer to meet us?"

"Who knows."

"Good night, Varric."

Varric retires into his tent and Anders watches Sera for a moment.

"Get some sleep, Sera. I'll take first watch," Anders suggests. Sera eyes him suspiciously. "Or maybe you can join me for watch? How about that? How are you finding the Inquisition so far?"

"I thought it would be bigger," Sera comments. Then she laughs. "Bigger." She snickers. "I'm saying that to you and… Never mind. There aren't as many people as I thought."

"We're still growing," Anders agrees. "We'll get there."

"Why are _you_ here?" Sera demands.

"I don't exactly have a choice." Anders lifts his left hand and the mark on his hand flares slightly making Sera flinch.

"Right."

"Why do you ask?"

"I heard you blew up a chantry and started the mage rebellion," Sera explains. "Didn't make sense, you in the Inquisition."

Anders hugs his knees to his chest. "That was a different time. I have a lot to make up for."

Sera hums and eyes him. "I've heard other things about you, though. You don't like nobles either."

"Not particularly, no. I don't like anybody who has power but doesn't use it to help others."

"Good." Sera nods. "That'll keep your breeches where they should be."

"Again with threatening my pants." Anders smiles. "Promise me something?"

"What?" She sounds suspicious.

"If I'm ever in danger of losing my pants, warn me first?" Anders requests and Sera laughs delightedly.

"I like you, Herald," she says.

"Please don't call me that. My name is Anders."

"What kind of a name is that anyway?"

"I didn't choose it. It's what the other mages nicknamed me when I was first taken to the Calenhad circle. I refused to talk to anybody and so nobody knew my name and they started calling me 'that Anders fellow'."

"Ew, why?"

"I'm originally from the Anderfels." Anders smiles. "It stuck."

"What's your real name then?"

Anders' smile drops. He looks into the fire. "It doesn't matter."

"It's your name though."

"It's the name of a little boy who doesn't exist anymore."

Silence falls and Sera eventually leaves to go to sleep, apparently unsure of what to say next. Anders stays up for a few more hours before waking Cassandra for second watch. When he does fall asleep, his dreams are a mix of fire, Templars, and Qunari. Under it all, a sense of crushing loneliness.

***

They finally arrive at the Storm Coast and Anders is once against in desperate need of a shave. Everyone is grouchy and more than a bit saddle sore. Anders is relieved to see the Inquisition camp where Scout Harding awaits them. He dismounts and hands his horse off to one of the scouts waiting for them and winces as he walks towards the main camp.

"Your Worship!" Scout Harding greets with a smile. "For what it's worth, welcome to the Storm Coast."

Anders smiles. "I'm familiar with the area."

He looks around. He spent a fair bit of time here after leaving the Free Marches. It's actually comforting to be back, despite how long it took them to ride from Haven.

"Any news on the Bull's Chargers?" Anders questions.

"Down on the beach. They sent a messenger to alert us they knew of our arrival and were waiting for the representatives to speak with them," Harding explains. "We've had some issues, though."

"What sort of issues?" Cassandra questions.

"One of our patrols hasn't reported back in. There are bandits in the area and they went to gather information. I believe they're dead." Harding appears distressed by the idea.

"We'll look for them," Anders informs her. "They might be hiding out from the bandits."

"Thank you, Your Worship," Scout Harding smiles. "I need to be heading out again soon. If I don't see you again before I leave, good luck, and enjoy the sea air. I hear it's good the soul."

She heads over to the map table where some other scouts are busily mapping out their next route and Anders turns to his motley crew. Cassandra and Solas appear ready for immediate action. Varric and Sera, on the other hand, both look grumpy and sore.

"The Chargers are down on the beach, apparently. We can head down and meet them first before we go look for the patrol," Anders suggests. "Take a breather, I'll go down to talk to the mercs."

"I'll come with you," Cassandra declares. Anders nods. Varric and Sera appear relieved and both drop to the ground. Sera looks around. The camp looks no different to the ones set up in the Hinterlands but this is Sera's first time in one. She is clearly intrigued. Anders hopes the tents are still standing when he comes back.

"Hey, what's that?" she asks, pointing.

Anders follows her hand and sees a skull mounted on a post.

"Creepy," Varric grumbles.

"I saw a couple of those in the Hinterlands," Cassandra mentions.

"So, did I. We were so busy, though, I didn't think to look closely. Do you mind if I…?" He gestures towards the skull and, though she sighs dramatically, Cassandra nods.

Anders walks towards it and the hair rises on his arms the closer he moves. The air around the skull is practically singing with magic and it's unnerving. He carefully approaches and gently touches the skull with one hand. It immediately lights with blue light and Anders tilts his head, wondering. What is it? How did it get here?

He leans down to study it more closely and realises that he can see out through the skull's eyes and there are shining objects.

"The skull illuminates objects not visible to the naked eye. I have never seen magic like this before."

Anders startles and almost trips over his own feet at the sound of Solas' voice. He turns to him, pressing a hand to his chest, gasping for breath.

"Don't do that!" he protests. "Some warning, please."

Solas laughs; a rare sound. "My apologies. We should find those objects. I'm curious as to what they might be."

"Me as well," Anders agrees. He turns back to the skull and looks through it. He makes note of where the objects are and then pauses. He ducks out from behind the skull and wanders closer to the edge of the hill they're standing on. "Oh… looks like the Bull's Chargers have some company."

Solas steps beside him and looks down.

"Shall we offer some assistance?" he asks.

"I think we should." Anders turns and the pair of them jog back to the camp. "We have trouble. The Chargers are under attack. We're helping."

He continues right past the other three. Cassandra follows immediately, as Varric and Sera pick themselves up and gather their weapons. Anders runs down the hill towards the beach and slides the last few feet, waving his staff, casting barriers over himself and the others. After that he sets fire to the nearest bandits, allowing Cassandra, Sera, and Varric to finish them off.

The Iron Bull is easy to spot. He's easily the biggest person on this beach and he has two large horns perpendicular to his skull, with sharp looking tips pointing skyward. He is also swinging the hugest sword Anders has ever seen, except for maybe the Arishok's. Anders takes care of a bandit sneaking up on the Qunari's flank and when the large man turns and see the bandit now frozen in place with electricity, he lops his head off and turns to find the source of the magic. He spots Anders and Solas casting from a safe distance and raises his hand in greeting before bellowing and moving on to his next opponent.

A bandit comes up beside Anders and he notices too late, only managing to cast a barrier between them at the last moment and the man's sword catches his side. Pain shoots through his torso as blood splatters the rocks at his feet but adrenaline kicks in and Anders swings his staff and smacks the bandit in the side of the head. A sword is driven through the man's neck while he is disoriented and Cremisius Aclassi nods at Anders.

"Your Worship," he says. "Good of you to come."

"Thanks for that," Anders pants. He concentrates his magic to the wound and heals it quickly. It is only shallow, thankfully. The last of the bandits are dispatched within minutes and Anders checks on his wound as the Bull's Chargers gather around their commander who begins directing them.

Approaching warily, Anders waits until he has the large Qunari's attention.

"Good work back there, thanks for watching my back. You're with the Inquisition?" Iron Bull says to Anders when he finally turns his way. Up close he is even more impressive. Almost as big as the Arishok, with intimidating horns, and an eye patch covering his left eye.

"Iron Bull, I presume?"

"Yeah, the horns usually give it away." The Qunari laughs to himself. "Let's talk. Take a seat, drinks are coming."

Bull leads Anders a few feet away from the rest of the group. He sits down on a rock but Anders remains standing, still uneasy. Being this close to a Qunari for the first time in years is making him feel a little skittish.

"I'm a little impressed," Anders tells him. "This was a big group of bandits and you took care of them easily."

"We had a little help." Bull winks. Or, at least Anders assumes he winks. With one eye it's difficult to say. It appeared too deliberate to just be a blink. Yes, it was a wink, Anders decides, and it throws him off balance. Who ever heard of a Qunari winking at people?

An image of Tallis floats across Anders' memory and her intense flirtation with Hawke. Anders supposes she counts, she believed deeply in the Qun, even if she was an elf. Suffice to say, Iron Bull is not what Anders has been expecting.

"I assume you remember Cremisius Aclassi, my lieutenant?"

"Of course," Anders smiles.

"Throat cutters are done, Chief," Cremisius announces.

"Already? Have them check again. I don't want any of those Tevinter bastards getting back up. No offence, Krem."

"None taken, at least a bastard knows who his mother is. Puts him one up on your Qunari."

Anders laughs at the exchange and turns back to Iron Bull, smile lingering. The Qunari appears pleased by Anders' reaction.

"So, how does this work?" Anders wonders. "You want to work for the Inquisition?"

"You've seen us fight. We're expensive, but we're worth it. And I'm sure the Inquisition can afford us," Iron Bull explains.

"The Chargers certainly seem … useful," Anders agrees carefully.

"They are but you wouldn't just be getting the boys. You'd be getting me, as well. I hear you're the one on the front lines, closing those damn rifts. You need a frontline bodyguard, somebody to take down those bastards sneaking up on your blindside while you're focused on your job. I'm your man. Whatever it is – demons, dragons, the bigger the better."

Iron Bull stands up and claps Anders on the shoulder, light enough that Anders only stumbles back half a step.

"Well, I would usually deny that but if it wasn't for Krem back there, I'd be dead," Anders agrees.

Iron Bull chuckles and then sobers. "There is one other thing. Might be useful, might piss you off. You ever hear of the Ben-Hassrath?"

"I once met an elf named Tallis," Anders replies.

"Oh, well, then. I guess you know a bit."

"Some. I lived in Kirkwall for almost seven years. Spies, intelligence, inside and outside Par Vollen, right?"

"Yeah, that's right, that's them. Or, uh, us." Iron Bull is almost sheepish as Anders grasps his words. Iron Bull is...? No. Absolutely not. This is not acceptable. "The Ben-Hassrath are concerned about the Breach. Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere. I've been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and send reports on what's happening. But I also _get_ reports from Ben-Hassrath agents all over Orlais. You sign me on, I'll share them with your people."

Anders stares at him.

"Did… did you just admit you're joining us as a _spy_? I don't think you really understand how spying works."

Iron Bull laughs and shakes his head. "Yeah, well, whatever happened at that Conclave thing, it's bad. Someone needs to get that Breach closed. So, whatever I am, I'm on your side."

"You didn't have to tell me though, if you're any good, we wouldn't have known," Anders points out. "It took us ages to find out Tallis was even Qunari, I know what you guys can do."

"You think I could hide from something called the Inquisition?" Bull laughs again, clearly amused. "Nah, and anyway, I like to be upfront. If you found me out later, you would have been pissed. Better you hear it from me now."

Anders glances back at the others but they're busy with the Chargers so he has to handle this incredibly delicate situation alone.

"What exactly would you be sending back to Par Vollen?" he wonders.

"Enough to keep my superiors happy, nothing that will compromise your operation. The Qunari want to know if they need to launch an invasion to stop the whole damn world from falling apart. You let me send word of what you're doing, it'll put some minds at ease. That's good for everyone."

"Yeah, I don't really want to experience another Qunari invasion attempt anytime soon." Anders shudders. "And what would you be able to share with us in return?"

"Enemy movements, suspicious activity, intriguing gossip. It's a mix. Alone they're not much but if your spy-master is any good, she will make use of them."

Anders coughs. "How do you know we have a spy-master?"

"What kind of Inquisition would you be without one? I did a little research, plus I've always had a weakness for redheads." Bull winks again and sobers. "Hope this isn't a deal breaker for you."

Anders considers it. Bull has been upfront which means he's either the worst or best spy in the world. Or he could be telling the truth and he truly wants to help without allowing his actual job to get in the way of working together. Tallis lied to them to get what she wanted but Bull doesn't seem shady, just worried, like everybody else.

With the world on the brink of collapse they can't really be picky about their allies.

"Alright, I'm going to agree to this but you need to run every report past Leliana," Anders informs him. "I don't want to be the one blamed if something you send back home compromises the Inquisition. Cassandra will kill you and torture me."

Bull chuckles. "Wouldn't expect any less." He looks behind Anders. "Krem! Tell the men to finish drinking on the road, the Chargers just got hired!"

Krem groans. "What about the casks, Chief? We just opened them up. With axes!"

"Find some way to seal them," Bull orders. "You're Tevinter, right? Try blood magic."

Anders stares but Krem just rolls his eyes at Bull and walks off.

"Your men can stay with the Inquisition camp up on the hill and finish their celebration," Anders offers. "We have a few things to do while we're here. Some of our soldiers are missing and there are bandits that need taking care of."

"More of these Tevinter snakes?" Bull questions.

Anders looks down at the bodies around them. Until Bull had said so, he hadn't realised they were fighting Tevinter men rather than bandits. He wonders what they were doing in Ferelden.

"I don't think so. Want to come and help us find out?"

"Sure. Change of plans, Krem. Take the drinks up and share them with the Inquisition soldiers on the hill, I'm heading off with these guys."

Krem nods and begins moving the Chargers up the hill with their casks of mead. Cassandra, Solas, Varric, and Sera join Anders and Bull. Anders makes quick introductions and realises he never introduced himself to Bull. Bull simply laughs and says he did his research and he knows all of their names already.

It's slightly unnerving.

They set off down the beach and stumble across a small group of the bandits Scout Harding mentioned. Dispatching them takes no time at all with Bull among their group. As they're about to continue along, Solas grabs Anders' arm suddenly.

"Look," he says, pointing towards a fallen tree. "It's one of the objects the skull showed us."

They both approach, cautious. Solas reaches out with his magic while Anders prepares for the worst. When nothing more happens than soft voices whispering to both of them from the Fade, Solas kneels and picks up the strange object. It appears to be a shard of something.

"What is it?" Sera asks, taking a few steps back. "Why is it whispering?"

"You can hear that as well?" Anders asks, suddenly intrigued. "Can all of you?"

The group nods. So it isn't simply he and Solas, as mages, who can hear the object's mystical hum.

"It doesn't look complete," Bull comments. "Maybe there are more pieces."

"I did see a few in the skull," Anders agrees.

"Wait, what skull?" Varric demands. "A creepy-ass skull showed you something shiny and you just _picked it up_? Mages. There's something wrong with you."

Anders smiles while Solas narrows his eyes.

"I think the Inquisition will have the resources necessary to figure out what this is." With that he pockets the shard of whatever it is and walks further along the beach. They all hurry to follow him.

Before long they have finally come across their missing soldiers. They're unfortunately dead but papers inside the cabin they find them in point to a group known as the Blades of Hessarian, and, interestingly, a way to challenge their leader. They decide to see what happens if they challenge the group's leadership. Varric and Bull seem to think a group such as that could be useful, and Anders winds up agreeing with them.

Soon enough the Inquisition has new allies and there is no longer any concern of being attacked by anything other than bears as they travel around the Storm Coast. There are rifts to close and Anders accidentally stumbles upon the journal of a Grey Warden. He is fascinated, especially since Leliana's concerns about the missing Wardens have already made him worried. He forces the others on a hunt for more clues about the Wardens and the hope that they might find them. It's fruitless but interesting nonetheless. The journals and maps they find seem to indicate that the Wardens are travelling West. Their reasons for such are unknown but Anders will report it back to Leliana regardless. He has a personal stake in their movements, as well, after all.

After dodging a battle between a giant and a high dragon – much to Iron Bull's disappointment – and closing every rift they could find, they are ready to leave the Storm Coast with a bag full of the strange shards and information on the Grey Wardens who had been in the area.

Bull sends the bag of objects with his men back to Haven. Solas is reluctant to part ways with the objects but Anders trusts that the Chargers will deliver the bag safely to Leliana at Haven. Instead of going with his men, Bull decides to travel to the Hinterlands with Anders and the others.

The long trip south is made more pleasant this time by Bull's presence. He is boisterous, flirtatious, and hilarious. He is surprisingly good company and his tales match Varric's for excitement though none of his are exaggerated and Anders finds that slightly concerning. Bull is interested in Anders and Varric's dealings with the Qunari and the Arishok in Kirkwall, as well as their time with Tallis in Orlais. He gets along with almost everyone… Solas and Bull don't seem to see eye to eye – but Anders has noticed that Solas doesn't get along with many people – their arguments are largely political and philosophical in nature, however, so everyone leaves them be.

Soon enough, they arrive back in the Hinterlands. Heading south through the region, Anders notices it is much quieter this time around. He is pleased that their efforts the last time they were here have actually had a positive effect. Though they encounter a group of formidable bandits, there is largely no conflict in the hills.

A scout at the first Inquisition camp they come to informs them that there have been sightings of Tevinters in the area. Anders and Cassandra exchange a concerned look while Bull growls threateningly. After seeing them on the Storm Coast, Anders has been hoping it was an anomaly. Now it seems as though it might be a real issue. Could it be connected to what happened at the Conclave? Tevinter doesn't exactly have a sparkling history when it comes to misuse of the Fade.

"How many?" Anders questions.

"Enough to have given us concern," the scout explains. "We have informed Sister Nightingale."

"Good. Any luck locating Warden Blackwall?"

"South of us, near the lake camp."

"Excellent." Anders nods. "We'll find Blackwall and then see about these Tevinters."

"Do we have to do more wandering around? My feet still hurt," Sera complains.

"You're more than welcome to stay with the camp," Cassandra sniffs. "And then you can go back to Haven with the rotation of scouts."

Sera blows a raspberry at Cassandra. "You can tell me what to do Lady Seeker."

"Be nice," Anders mutters half heartedly as he looks around the farms. They're still quiet. The rifts he closed haven't reopened and something in him loosens in relief. He had been terrified while they were away that his mark wasn't as effective as they assumed and that the rifts would reopen in his absence. Thankfully he has been worrying over nothing.

"The watch towers are up and running," Varric notes, pointing towards the hill. "That means Dennet will be sending the horses to Haven any day now."

"That's good. It's nice to know things get done while we're away."

Varric chuckles. "Ain't that the truth? Ready to go find this Warden?"

"Sure. Solas? Bull? Ready to head out?"

"Of course, Boss," Bull replies. He has taken to calling Anders that. It is a definitely improvement on 'Herald' and 'Your Worship' even if Anders isn't sure _he_ is Bull's boss, perse. As Bull pointed out, however, the Inquisition doesn't have an actual leader, just a few people dealing with key areas, and since Anders is the one who recruited Bull and his men in the end, Bull will just consider Anders the one giving him his orders.

Anders can't think of a way to argue so he lets it happen.

Anders, Varric, Solas, and Bull march out from the camp, leaving Cassandra and Sera behind. Sera, because she doesn't want to come, and Cassandra because there are missives from Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana that need attending to. Anders doesn't want to deal with anything that might be in those letters so he is quite happy to hunt down his fellow Warden and find out what's going on with the group.

"So this is where the fighting between the mages and Templars was thickest?" Bull asks.

"It was. We cleared them all out. The ones that survived have fled," Anders replies.

"Good work, Boss. Could have left me some, though."

Varric laughs. "Oh, Tiny, don't you worry. With our luck, there will be plenty of things for you to kill."

"Excellent."

Solas rolls his eyes. He turns to Anders. "What do you suppose this Grey Warden is doing out here when all his brethren have vanished?"

"I don't know. I've heard of Blackwall. He is an Orlesian Grey Warden so I never met him. Alassea told me that the Orlesians refused to come and help Ferelden during the Blight. Nobody believed Duncan, the former Warden-Commander of Ferelden, that it was a true Blight. By the time the Archdemon showed up, Loghain had declared the remaining Ferelden Grey Wardens traitors and barred the Orlesians from entering Ferelden. They chose to ignore their right as Wardens to violate laws to help end the Blight and didn't come to help. Alassea had no patience for Orlesians after that, and especially no patience for the higher ups at Weisshaupt, since they were the ones who gave the order to stay out of Ferelden. Because of them there were literally two Grey Wardens attempting to end the Fifth Blight."

Solas nods. "I've never heard that part of the story."

"This is only second hand. I only know what Alassea and Alistair told me. My point is that I never met _any_ Orlesian Grey Wardens because of that and I wasn't exactly trying to." Anders shrugs. "We'll just have to see what Blackwall has to say for himself."

"You're a Grey Warden?" Bull asks, intrigued. "Really? I thought becoming a Grey Warden is for life?"

"It is. I ran away." Anders cringes from the hard look Bull gives him. "They made me get rid of my cat. And there were… extenuating circumstances."

There is a look from Varric that has Anders tensing, expecting him to reveal Anders' secrets but he remains silent, for which Angers is immeasurably grateful. Revealing to Bull that he was once an abomination doesn't seem like it would go over too well.

"Leaving doesn't change what I am though," Anders explains. "There are things about being a Grey Warden that…" Anders stops and frowns. The others look at him and then scan their surroundings, clearly worried that something is wrong.

"You see something?" Varric questions, loading Bianca with an arrow.

"What? Oh, no. Sorry. I just…" Anders trails off, unwilling to elaborate.

Becoming a Grey Warden _is_ for life. As far as Anders is aware, only Grand Enchanter Fiona has managed to shake off what it means to be a Grey Warden and nobody is entirely sure how that happened. The taint and the Calling are not something that just disappear. And yet… The harder Anders considers it, the lighter the feeling in his chest becomes. He hasn't dreamt of the darkspawn or heard their whisperings since… since the Conclave. It could be the magic of the Breach, or the magic in his hand preventing them from breaking through but… Anders has _felt_ different since the Conclave as well.

There are many factors to consider. Justice, the mark on his hand, stepping into the Fade, the Breach. All of it is causing him to feel different physically. There is no need to jump to conclusions. Just because he has heard no darkspawn whispering to him, even as close to the Deep Roads as they were on the Storm Coast and here, where the Blight began last time, does not mean his taint is gone.

It doesn't.

He cannot jump to conclusions.

Anders is preoccupied by his thoughts that he doesn't even notice when they climb up into view of Lake Luthias. They wander the edges of the lake and catch sight of a portly man in armour with a group of what looks to be young men shaking in their boots as they gingerly hold shields and swords for what must be the first time in their lives.

"Warden Blackwall?" Anders calls out when they near the group. They can hear Blackwall giving orders, saying something about a fight and making sure 'they' – whoever 'they' are – will learn never to come around here again.

"Who's asking? Who are you?" Blackwall demands. Anders is about to answer when he hears the twang of a bowstring and before he can even think of casting a barrier, Warden Blackwall throws up a shield and catches the arrow before it can burrow through Anders' skull.

"We'll deal with this lot first!" Blackwall announces. "Shields up men!"

Anders grabs his staff and casts barriers over everyone around him and turns to face their attackers. More of the bandits they met on the road. These bandits are too well armed and dangerous to be simple outlaws attempting to make a profit off the misfortune of the refugees. With nine of them fighting together, it takes minutes for the last bandit to fall with Blackwall's sword through his throat.

Blackwall dismisses the four farm boys, letting them know their duty is to protect their homes and he is releasing them now they know how to do that. Anders frowns as he watches them leave.

"You conscripted them so you could teach them to fight off bandits?" Anders asks. Blackwall nods grimly. "Isn't that a misuse of the treaties?"

"How do you know about the treaties?" Blackwall asks suspiciously. "Who are you?"

"Warden Anders, of Amaranthine. Or, I was. I served under Warden-Commander Mahariel before I… left." Anders ignores the dark look Blackwall gives him. "Now I'm with the Inquisition and we have some questions for you about the Wardens. Do you know where they are?"

"Where they are? What do you mean? No, you're asking, so you don't really know."

"They've disappeared. We're concerned it may have something to do with the Breach."

"If you were a Warden, then you certainly know that no Warden could have anything to do with that." Blackwall gestures towards the sky. "Truly? They've all disappeared?"

"All of them." Anders grits his teeth. "And you know nothing?"

"I've been on the road. Recruiting. That's my job. I don't hear from other Wardens very often." Blackwall shrugs. Something about his manner is bothering Anders but he can't place exactly what it is.

"Right. Thanks for your time," Ander sighs. He turns to leave.

"Wait, Inquisition?" Blackwall sounds curious. Anders raises an eyebrow when he looks back at him. "If the Wardens are missing… if they… Maybe you need another Warden to help in this fight?"

Anders smiles. "Maybe we do. Wardens are good at saving the world, after all."

Blackwall chuckles. "That we are. Suppose you'd know that better than anybody if you served under the Hero of Ferelden."

"Best woman I've ever known." Anders nods. "You want to join up? Welcome aboard."

"Thank you."

"Come back to our camp with us and we'll send you off to Haven with some others of our group who need to report back." Anders gestures for Blackwall to follow him. "This is Varric Tethras, Solas, and Iron Bull."

Blackwall eyes them all. "Interesting bunch."

"You have no idea," Varric laughs.

"So, you're a Grey Warden?" Bull questions. "You're shorter than I imagined."

"In comparison to you, maybe," Blackwall replies.

"You're shorter than Anders and he's not a large man," Varric points out.

"Don't pick on short people, dwarf," Anders says and then freezes. They aren't really friends right now and he might not have been allowed to say that. Thankfully Bull and Solas laughing prevented anything poisonous Varric might have said back to him.

Anders focuses on Blackwall.

"When was the last time you heard from other Wardens?" he asks.

"Months ago."

"Hm. When you do get to Haven? Go to Leliana, she's the one who needs to know what's going on. She has a bit of a vested interest in the Wardens." Anders smiles. "She was part of the group who was with the Warden-Commander when she slay Uthemiel."

"Well then, I look forward to meeting her." Blackwall sounds gruff. Anders wonders if he knows how to actually sound pleased about something. They arrive back at the camp soon enough and Anders introduces Blackwall to Cassandra and Sera.

"You two are going to head back to Haven to deliver our report on the activity in the Storm Coast and escort Blackwall to see Leliana," Anders explains. It isn't until Cassandra gives him a dry look that he realises he just gave her an order. Apparently she doesn't mind, though, because she says nothing. Maybe the dry look is because he's sending her on a trip with Sera again.

"Sorry," Anders says quietly.

Cassandra sighs. "It must be done. It is a pleasure to meet you Warden Blackwall."

"And you Seeker Pentaghast."

"Your Worship! There is a letter for you, from Sister Nightingale, it just arrived!" A scout runs over and thrusts a scroll in Anders' face. He accepts it and reads it quickly.

_Anders,_

_There have been reports of Tevinter sightings in the Hinterlands. I have been only slightly worried until now. This morning we received an invitation from a Magister Gereon Alexius in Redcliffe, inviting the Inquisition, on behalf of the rebel mages, to meet with him. I am not sure what is going on. There was no mention of Tevinter in Fiona's original invitation to us. I suggest you be very wary. Tevinter is not to be trusted._

_Leliana_

Anders shows Cassandra the letter and her brow creases dramatically.

"Perhaps I should stay," she offers. Anders considers it and then shakes his head.

"I think we'll be fine. You need to take our report back to Haven," Anders informs her. "And it's best only a few of us go since it is probably a trap."

"What is it?" Solas questions.

"A Tevinter magister has invited us to Redcliffe. On behalf of the rebel mages."

"What in Andraste's…?" Varric frowns.

"I thought we were already invited there," Sera points out. "By the Grand thingy."

"We were," Anders agrees. "It's… weird. Still, we were planning on going there today, anyway, so we may as well. You three head to Haven when you're ready. We're going to Redcliffe now."

"Be careful," Cassandra says. "Send word once your business is complete."

"Of course. We'll see you back in Haven in a few weeks."

Cassandra nods and Anders turns to Varric, Solas, and Bull. They nod grimly and set off with him across the countryside.

As they walk, Anders feels prickles of anger beginning to bubble up inside him. He can only imagine what a Tevinter magister is doing with the rebel mages. The situation for mages in Thedas is already precarious, the last thing they need is a meddling magister to make things worse. While Anders has always envied and admired the freedoms mages in Tevinter possess, his actual dealings with Tevinter mages have not been pleasant. Sometimes he still thinks about Danarius and the disgusting comments he made in The Hanged Man before they killed him. He thinks about the slavers. He thinks about the blood mages. And then the envy and admiration are gone and he feels only rage.

If this magister thinks he can take advantage of the mages while they are vulnerable then he has another thing coming.

"Easy," Varric murmurs. Anders looks down at him in surprise. "I can tell what you're thinking. We don't want to cause an incident so just rein it in. We'll find out what's going on soon enough."

It's then that Anders realises there are sparks of electricity on his fingers and beneath his feet as he stomps his way forward. He takes a deep breath and regains control over his magic. Varric is right, of course, they need to find out what's going on. They won't be able to do that if Anders attacks the magister on sight.

And before they can reach Redcliffe Village there is a large rift to deal with accompanied by strange pockets of time distortion. Anders only notices them when he is practically frozen in place at one moment and a shade drawers nearer to him. It is brought to an almost screeching halt three feet from him, however and Anders manages to escape the strange pocket of space in the next moments and take out the shade.

Once the rift is closed he looks around and warily approaches the spot where he had been almost frozen in place, only able to move very, very slowly. Nothing.

"What was that?" he demands.

"Something funky is going on," Varric agrees.

"It was as thought the rift was distorting time," Solas says curiously. "We have not seen one do that before."

"First this magister shows up and now this?" Anders shakes his head. "Something is very wrong. Be on guard, who knows what other surprises are waiting for us here."

The gate opens and Anders leads the way inside to meet an Inquisition scout who explains the situation.

"Nobody is expecting us?" Anders asks, to clarify.

"Not the mages, anyway. Apparently this Magister Alexius is, but not the Grand Enchanter. This is Lysos, he can take you in." The scout bows to Anders and hurries out the gate.

"Greetings," Lysos says with a soft smile. The elf appears nervous and Anders' tenses further. "Magister Alexius is in charge now, but he has yet to arrive for your meeting. You may speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the meantime if you wish."

"Why is there a Magister in Redcliffe?" Anders growls.

"He is our new ally," Lysos informs them and Varric swears while Solas groans. Bull mutters something in Qunlat that does not sound polite. "The former Grand Enchanter can explain further. Allow me–"

"I can find my own way. Fiona has a lot of explain to do," Anders snarls and marches past Lysos. The others hurry to catch up to him. Anders storms through the village, ignoring everyone, his sights set on the tavern. He throws the door open, startling many of the patrons.

Grand Enchanter Fiona is sitting at a table in the back and looks up in shock at their arrival.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Anders demands once he is closer enough.

"Easy, Boss," Bull says but Anders ignores him.

"An alliance with Tevinter? What the fuck are you thinking? Why would you even invite us here if  you were just going to ally with them?" Anders snarls at her.

"I do not know who you think you are–"

"My name is Anders and I'm with the Inquisition."

"Anders?" Fiona gasps and stares at him. "You are–"

"Yes, I'm _that_ mage. Now tell me why the hell you agreed to ally with a Tevinter Magister? Did you want to doom all futures for mages in Thedas? You knew we were coming. We have been planning on offering you an alliance, one that would benefit the mages under your care. Do you even care about them?"

Fiona gapes at him and then draws herself up.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. We had no options open to us and Magister Alexius arrived just when hoped seemed slimmest. What future do you think we could possibly have after this war?"

"Every future if you had waited for us. You knew we were coming!"

"I most certainly did not. There was no notion that the Inquisition would want to help us. It was founded on the Divine's orders." Fiona glares at him. "And I hardly think I am going to trust your word."

"Wait. You didn't know the Inquisition was coming?" Bull asks. Anders stops and realises that that is what Fiona said. Thankfully Bull is paying closer attention than he is.

"You sent a letter to the Inquisition," Solas explains, "requesting a meeting. Why ally with Tevinter when you have already requested meetings with us?"

"I sent no such letter," Fiona replies.

Anders puts that together with the time distortions outside the village.

"Something weird is happening right now. When did the magister show up?" Anders asks.

"Just when I was needed," an oily voice announces. Anders straightens up and turned to face Magister Gereon Alexius. Electricity sparks in Anders' hand, his magic flaring wildly at the sight of the man.

"And what exactly did you offer them?" Anders asks darkly.

"Help. Fiona and her mages have nowhere else to do. They are now in service to Tevinter until they have paid their dues to become full citizens. Our army always needs more mages," Alexius replies. Fiona stares with wide eyes.

"You've enslaved the mages?"

"You promised not all of my people would be military!" Fiona interjects.

"You have _enslaved_ the southern mages?" Anders asks. He clenches his fist and summons his magic into it. "Mages are _not_ slaves!"

"It is not slavery–"

Anders draws his staff and sends a fireball towards the magister. One of his bodyguards manages to deflect it and suddenly there are staffs pointing at Anders and his group from every angle.

"Nice going," Varric hisses.

"That was perhaps not the wisest course of action," Solas agrees.

"Tevinter bastards," Bull growls.

"I invite you here to negotiate and this is how you repay my hospitality?" Alexius demands. He looks furious. "You with your stolen mark, magic you do not understand, you who think yourself so righteous. You are not worthy to stand in my presence. Throw them in the dungeons at the castle. The Elder One will be interested in that one's hand."

Anders doesn't care what Alexius is talking about, he prepares to fight but there are too many of the Tevinter mages and it doesn't take long for Solas and he to be dosed with mage bane and all four of them subdued and carried off towards Redcliffe Castle. Before Anders slips into unconsciousness, he has the presence of mind to wonder who this Elder One is and why Alexius seems to know about his mark. He looks down at his hand, the mark sparking weakly as he tries to fight off the mage bane, before the poison overwhelms him and he blacks out.


	6. ....And now there's time travel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even Anders thinks time travel is taking magic too far. Who knows what kind of crap this is going to cause.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Gasp* I didn't take seven months to update? What is this? Blood magic? Nah. It's insomnia. What else do you do when you can't sleep? Write, of course. And watch Game of Thrones. But mostly write.
> 
> Okay, so there's a few more graphic details of violence in this than I have used so far but Anders goes a little... crazy in this chapter. You'll see why. This chapter rushes through events, but I did it on purpose because Anders becomes single-minded in this chapter so the extra details don't matter to him and since this story is solely his POV, my narration doesn't focus on extra details for this chapter. Hopefully it all makes sense... I haven't slept properly in almost a month so it could all be gibberish for I know. Let me know what you think. I'm finally writing exciting parts of the story and I love it.

Redcliffe Castle's dungeons are like every other dungeon Anders has had the misfortune to find himself in. They are dismal and damp and filled with rats. Anders hates rats almost as much as he hates giant spiders. As far as dungeons go, they could be better, but they could also be much, much worse.

A fact Anders points out when Varric glares at him from his own cell.

"They could have dropped us in a hole," Iron Bull adds helpfully.

Varric grunts and turns his back to Anders, clearly furious. At first he had been worried as Anders moaned on the floor of his cell, fighting off the effects of the mage bane, but once the poison had run its course and Anders had stopped trembling, he turned to anger. Anders doesn't blame him. Varric and Bull both cautioned him to calm down, not to start anything that would put them in danger's path. He hadn't heeded the warnings well enough and now, here they are.

"Thought without Justice in you anymore that you'd be more level headed," Varric mutters.

Anders snorts. "You think Justice was responsible for my recklessness? I didn't have Justice when I escaped the circle tower seven times and impulsively joined the Grey Wardens."

Varric shakes his head, refusing to engage further.

"I want to know who this Elder One is that the magister spoke of," Solas muses from across the hall. He leans on the bars of his cell and ponders the ceiling. "The magister seems to think this Elder One is interested in your Mark. It begs the question whether they might be responsible for what happened at the Temple?"

"Maybe. I've never heard of an Elder One. Who do you think they are?" Anders wonders.

"Probably some power hungry 'Vint," Bull shrugs.

"Undoubtedly. And I would guess this Alexius is not his only follower," Solas agrees.

"And you would be correct."

They all tense and turn to look down the corridor at the new voice announcing a stranger. A man steps out from the stairwell. He is tall and dressed in fine robes and carrying a staff. He is clearly a mage and judging by his accent, obviously from Tevinter. Anders tenses, wishing they hadn't taken his own staff. The man looks at them all and shakes his head, clicking his tongue in dismay.

"Now, now this wasn't at all how things were supposed to go. I had a plan you know."

Anders frowns at the tall, tanned man as he approaches. He has a moustache and slate grey eyes. He doesn't appear threatening, in fact he almost seems highly amused to be there. Is he one of Alexius' men? Why is he here?

"Felix was going to deliver you a message from myself, inviting you to the chantry. There, I would dramatically greet you and assist you in closing the rift inside – which is still open, and pouring out demons right now, I might add – and introduce myself. From there we would join together to stop my former mentor in his insane plans. You've ruined all my careful planning and I am not at all impressed."

"Uh…" Anders blinks. "I'm sorry? Who are you?"

"I am Dorian Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. And you are Anders, the apostate mage I've heard so much about," the man replies. He smiles and Anders' stomach tightens. He's handsome.

"Watch out, the pretty ones are always the worst," Bull growls from his cell.

Dorian shakes his head. "Don't be so suspicious. I'm here to request help from the famed Herald of Andraste. You've made quite the name for yourself both here in the south and back in my homeland."

"They know of me in Tevinter?"

"Well, a certain sect of Tevinter knows about you. They call themselves Venatori, and they serve this Elder One you heard about." Dorian steps closer to Anders' cell. "I have information about them but I need your help. I can't stop them on my own. Alexius has utilised powerful time magic to ensure he arrived here in Redcliffe before you."

"Before me? Why?"

"To scoop the southern mages out from under you, of course."

"What for?" Solas asks.

"That, I don't have an answer for. All I know is that this Elder One the Venatori serve is incredibly interested in the mages, you, and the Mark on your hand." Dorian looks down at Anders' hand curiously. "Fascinating. How does it work, I wonder?"

"No idea. We can discuss magical theory later. You're really asking for our help?" Anders wonders.

"I am."

"How do we know you aren't just here to trick us?" Varric demands. "You're a Magister as well."

Dorian sighs deeply. "Let's get this out of the way. I may be a mage from Tevinter, but I am not a member of the Magisterium. I know you Southerners use the terms interchangeably but it just makes you sound like savages."

Anders snorts. "Right. And that's supposed to make us trust you?"

"No. This is." Dorian gestures towards the stairwell and another man comes through carrying, surprisingly, all of their weapons. The newcomer doesn't look well. There's something about him… Anders gasps softly as soon as it clicks.

That man has the Blight.

"This is Felix, Alexius' son," Dorian introduces. "Felix has been most instrumental in smuggling me into the castle to fetch you."

"You're siding against your own father?" Varric questions.

"He has gone mad," Felix explains. "This cult, the Venatori, they're dangerous."

"Men like that are the reason our country is falling to ruin," Dorian adds. "They have destroyed Tevinter and they are attempting to bring the rest of Thedas down with us. We cannot stand for that, either of us. That is something you are just going to have to take on faith."

Anders looks at Varric, who shrugs, and then at Solas, who nods. Bull doesn't look convinced but he gives Anders a glance that clearly says 'your call, Boss'. Anders looks at Dorian and Felix suspiciously.

"You can trust us," Dorian says. "We're here to help. We need you just as much as you need us."

"Do you have a plan?" Anders wonders.

"I'm so pleased you asked!"

Felix hands Dorian a ring of keys and Dorian proceeds to unlock all of their cells and Felix returns their weapons to them. Anders grips his staff tightly and uses it to keep himself propped up. He is still weak from the mage bane and holding the staff disguises the tremor in his hands. He hopes none of the others have noticed. He isn't as young as he once was and it's taking longer than he expected to return to full strength.

The lack of stamina brings back his earlier thoughts but he shoves them aside. Now is not the time.

"Now, listen carefully," Dorian announces. Varric snorts.

"This guy sounds like he's waiting for applause," he comments.

"You could applaud me, you know," Dorian replies with a smile, "I did just stage a daring rescue."

"Not all that daring," Felix interjects. "I had keys and dismissed the guards."

"Shush, Felix. Alright, here is what we're going to do. Alexius is in the throne room. He has informed your Inquisition of your capture and is plotting against whomever they send to negotiate for your release. I suggest we sneak in and take him by surprise, and escape the castle with him as our prisoner. I secured some mage bane to keep him from attacking us once we're out. We need the information he has on the Venatori."

"We need the mages," Anders interjects.

"Without Alexius in the way you should be able to negotiate with Fiona," Dorian suggests. "I believe the Elder One is responsible for the Breach and the information Alexius can provide for you is just as important as an alliance with your rebel mages."

"Maybe…" Anders looks at Solas and tilts his head.

"If this Elder One and his Venatori created the Breach, perhaps they know how to seal it," Solas suggests. "It may be worth it."

"Can you get word to the Inquisition? Let them know what we're doing?" Anders wonders.

"I'll ride to Haven," Felix says. "I'll tell them what's happening."

Anders nods and then frowns. "Wait. Take this. So they know you're coming with word from me." He reaches into his coat and pulls out the Inquisition seal Josephine had given him to seal his correspondence. He hopes it will keep Felix from being detained or attacked by Inquisition forces. "We have a camp just south of the Crossroads, if you go to the scouts there they can send a raven to our spymaster and give you an escort to Haven."

Felix nods and accepts the seal. "I'll tell them what you're planning to do and everything I know about the Venatori."

"Thank you." Anders turns to Dorian. "Lead the way to the throne room. I owe Alexius a dose of mage bane, I think."

Dorian grins. "Follow me."

"You said Alexius used  _time magic_?" Varric questions.

"He did."

"That sort of magic is highly improbable," Solas interjects.

"I know, I helped develop it. The theory was sound but we could never get it to work. I imagine Alexius is somehow using the Breach in order to make it work." Dorian frowns. "Messing with time… When it was simply theoretical, it was all well and good, but the damage that could be done to the world, especially with how unstable the Veil already is…"

"It could be disastrous," Solas nods.

"We need to stop him," Anders adds, a grim expression on his face.

Felix leaves them as soon as they're out of the dungeons. He leaves with a nod and a set jaw. Anders hopes he'll be alright leaving the castle and travelling to their camp.

"Don't worry, Felix is quite good at sneaking about," Dorian says and Anders look at him. His concern must have been fairly obvious because Dorian smiles. "He'll make it safely to your camp, I assure you."

"We should focus on Alexius," Anders decides.

"Indeed."

"Boss, it's too quiet here," Bull says after they've walked for some time through the bowels of the castle. "Where are all the guards? I don't like this."

Anders frowns and looks about. He tightens his grip on his staff and notices Varric load arrows into Bianca. Bull is right. It _is_ too quiet.

"They probably don't expect you to be able to escape," Dorian says, looking around warily. "Felix said his father is preparing for something, the rest of the Venatori probably have preparations to make as well."

"Preparations for what, exactly?" Anders asks. Dorian shrugs and it isn't at all comforting. "Right. Let's get to Alexius before anything really bad happens."

They meet only two groups of Tevinter mages and guards and dispatch them easily. Anders' focus is entirely on Alexius and what he might be preparing for. They arrive at the throne room and deal with the Venatori stationed outside. Bull is ruthless against the Tevinter soldiers, leaving almost nothing for the rest of them to worry about.

Dorian throws open the doors to the throne room and bursts inside.

"Alexius!" he shouts. "We need to have a chat!"

Varric stares after him. "Maker's breath, there's another one."

Anders doesn't have the chance to ask what he means as he follows Dorian, flames flickering off his arms and legs as he walks. The anger he feels towards Alexius has not lessened. The magister needs to learn a valuable lesson about freedom and justice. Anders is happy to teach him.

Fiona and Alexius are both inside and look up at their loud arrival.

Bull, Varric, and Solas follow them into the throne room seconds later.

"Dorian? What are you doing here?" Alexius demands. "And with the prisoners?"

"I'm here to stop you dragging Tevinter further into the dirt," Dorian explains.

"We want to know about the Venatori and the Elder One, so you'll be taking a trip with us to the Inquisition," Anders adds, holding his staff aloft. "Come quietly, or I'll have fun paying you back for the mage bane."

"Elder One? Alexius, what are they talking about?" Fiona asks and Alexius shoves her aside to step towards Dorian and Anders.

Alexius scoffs at Anders. "Your sheer arrogance wasn't mentioned in all the tales about you." He turns to Dorian. "I offered you the opportunity to join me, Dorian. You turned me down. Are you casting your lot in with these… parasites?"

Dorian narrows his eyes. "I won't allow you to destroy our homeland."

"It will not be destroyed. The Elder One has power you would not believe. He can return Tevinter to its former glory. Bring me the Herald right now, Dorian, and the Elder One will reward you greatly."

"I don't really want to help give the Imperium a chance to one-up that whole 'starting the Blight' thing," Dorian replies loftily. "Last chance to surrender, Alexius."

"The Elder One will allow mages to rule Thedas once more, even here in the South," Alexius announces and Anders groans. Fiona gasps.

"You cannot involve my people in this! We want freedom, not war!"

"You're a madman!" Anders snarls.

"Alexius, this is exactly what you and I talked about never wanting to happen. Why would you support this?"

Alexius looks at Dorian with sorrow. "He will save Felix."

Dorian makes a small, wounded sound, but Anders has heard enough. He walks towards Alexius, mage bane in one hand, staff in the other, ready to end this now.

"I'm taking you with us and freeing the mages now," Anders informs him.

The expression on Alexius' face is one of fury and triumph at once.

"I will fix the mistake from the Temple. I will give the Elder One what he wants and he will save my son." Alexius raises his staff. "You are a mistake, you should never have existed."

Withdrawing an amulet from his robes, Alexius draws on his mana and it begins to glow and spark.

"No!" Dorian shouts and dives for Anders. They are both knocked to the ground and the next moment they are swallowed in a wave of green magic as another rift opens directly over them.

Hot.

Pressure.

Cold.

Anders' body feels as though it might explode at any moment.

Suddenly he's wet and no longer being squeezed by some inexorable force. He shakes his head, trying to clear the fog of magic, and looks around. It only takes a moment for him to realise he is in a flooded dungeon, before a voice shouting catches his attention.

"Blood of the Elder One!"

"Where did they come from?"

Anders thankfully has enough presence of mind to send a ball of fire their way. A second one follows and both men fall down dead when Anders follows the fire up with lightning directly to their chests. Not many people can survive such a shock to the heart all while burning alive. It's a useful, if exhaustive, use of magic.

The second fireball came from Dorian who is standing beside Anders, looking equally as baffled by their current location.

"Displacement? Interesting." Dorian folds his arms and two of his fingers begin fiddling with his moustache as he thinks. Anders' eyes track their movements and he finds his gaze focusing more on Dorian's mouth, and then his face in general. Now is not the best time, but the man really is incredibly handsome, and it's been a long time since Anders has been near such an interesting and attractive person who didn't want to kill him.

"It's probably not what Alexius intended. The rift must have moved us… to what? The closest confluence of arcane energy?" He raises his eyebrows at Anders, clearly hoping for a response and Anders quickly looks up from his mouth, embarrassed. Dorian smirks.

"These are definitely the Redcliffe Castle dungeons," Anders replies. "I was just stuck in them for a boring stretch of time. Though I don't remember being waist deep in water a few hours ago."

"If we're still in the castle, it isn't… Oh!" Dorian beams suddenly. "Of course! It's not simply where – it's _when_."

"If you're saying what I think you are, I might need to sit down," Anders replies, a sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Alexius must have used the amulet as a focus and moved us through time," Dorian continues. "And don't sit down, you might drown."

Anders rubs his face. "Fuck."

Dorian chuckles. "That about sums it up."

"We have to get back. If we don't stop him and his Elder One…"

"You're quite right, though I'm not certain it will be a matter of simply snapping our fingers. We should search the castle."

"Those were Venatori who attacked us. We've probably been sent forward in time." Anders nods towards the charred corpses in the water. "If they're still here there's a chance Alexius might be as well. He's our best bet."

"Indeed."

Together they exit the cell they materialised in. It's the same block of cells Anders and the others were being kept in so they know where to go, thankfully.

"Do you think the others are here somewhere?" Anders wonders.

"I imagine if they were caught in the spell they would have been with us back there," Dorian replies. "They might have been recaptured, however."

"And killed," Anders finishes for him. Guilt punches him in the chest but he simply tightens his hold on his staff and concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other. He can fix this, he can. He will find Alexius, he will force the asshole 'Vint to send them back – only after he's burnt off some of his less essential body parts – and, once back in the right time, he will throw the bastard in a cell somewhere. Maybe give him to Cassandra, that'll make him talk about this Elder One.

They come to a corridor and turn left. Up a short flight of stairs and through a door they come to a halt at the sight of red lyrium growing out of the walls. There is no way through it so they need to turn around but Anders can't seem to convince his legs to move.

"What in the Maker's name?" he breathes. "This is bad."

"What is it?" Dorian wonders.

"It's a form of lyrium… an evil form of lyrium. In Kirkwall it drove people mad and even turned Knight-Commander Meredith into a lyrium statue. Don't touch it… and if it starts whispering to you, ignore it."

"Whispering?" Dorian looks at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah… sometimes things float, too. Let's get away from it. We can go the other way."

There had been no red lyrium in the dungeons before. Anders is more convinced that they have been sent forward through time. How far and just what has happened to the world is still unclear. They need to find out and then Anders needs to make sure red lyrium is never able to spread like that. He can only imagine the damage it is causing.

Up the right-hand flight of stairs they come across guards and a metal walkway. Dispatching the guards is easy – there's only three of them against two mages – and they head down into another wing of the dungeons. Faintly, Anders can hear singing. It sounds like a person, not lyrium, so he follows it, leading Dorian after him. The closer they move to the voice the more Anders recognises it.

"The Iron Bull," he informs Dorian and rushes through the final door. The singing cuts off when the door bangs open. Anders looks to the right first and then freezes.

"Varric?" he gasps. Varric looks up, eyes wide, and stares at Anders. Anders feels a lurch and stumbles closer to the cell door. There is red glinting in Varric's usually warm amber eyes, and Anders can feel a hum of lyrium around him. The dark, oily hum of red lyrium. "What happened to you?"

"What happened to _you_?" Varric counters. "We… I thought you were dead."

"Boss?" Bull's voice comes from further down the cells. "What the fuck? Last time we saw you, you were a scorch mark on the ground."

"We're not dead," Dorian announces, peering at Varric with interest. He walks down and looks into Bull's cell. "Though you both look as though you should be."

"Thanks," Bull replies sarcastically. "Probably be better if I was."

"What happened?" Anders asks once more. "Dorian and I think we were sent forward in time."

"You wouldn't happen to know when we are, would you?" Dorian adds.

"It's been almost a year since you died," Varric replies.

"A year?" Dorian hums thoughtfully while Anders moans and closes his eyes, forehead pressed to Varric's cell door.

"I'm so sorry," Anders whispers. "Red lyrium…"

"Yeah, Blondie. Red lyrium." Varric stands up. "So, time magic, huh? The 'Vint was telling the truth."

"We could never get it to work before," Dorian says. "I wonder if the Breach has anything to do with it suddenly working."

"Who cares? What are you going to do now you're here?"

"We have to go back," Anders replies. "We have to stop this from happening."

"Good luck with that," Varric snorts.

"The magister hangs out in his throne room. Maybe he can help," Bull supplies cheerfully. "Can I help you kill some 'Vints?"

"Sure," Dorian replies and blasts the lock on his cell door. "We'll need some extra hands. We'll find weapons before we leave the dungeons."

"Is Solas here, as well?" Anders asks as he opens Varric's cell.

"Think so, unless they finally killed him," Varric answers. "He was down in the next cell block."

"What did we miss in the last year?" Dorian asks as they begin to head downstairs.

"That Elder One the magister mentioned is a right piece of work," Iron Bull explains. "He invaded the south with a demon army after he assassinated the Empress of Orlais. He took over everything. The Inquisition wasn't able to hold him off for long. He's… something else."

"Anders…" Varric looks up at him. He opens his mouth to say something when they hear Solas' voice and Anders hurries towards it.

"Solas!" he says. Solas looks up and his expression barely twitches.

"You're alive," he breathes.

"We are. We were sent forward in time. We're hoping we can make Alexius undo it. Stop everything from happening," Anders explains quickly, blasting the lock on the door and opening it. Solas is nodding as he steps out.

"Yes, yes, you must," he agrees. He apparently doesn't need any convincing that Anders is real, unlike Varric and Bull. "Do you think you can reverse it?"

"We have to try," Dorian replies. "This shouldn't ever have happened."

"No. It shouldn't have." Solas looks furious, the red glinting in his eyes. He too is humming with lyrium but he is also thrumming with an immense level of magic that makes the hairs on Anders' arms stand up. It almost feels as though Solas' magic is out of control, but he doesn't look it.

In another room they find a stash of weapons and the other three arm themselves as best they can before they leave. They need to cross a raised drawbridge in order to leave the dungeons but they can't see any controls. Anders decides they should search the last cell block for the controls.

Anders leads the way down the stairs and they search the rooms. In the second room they come too Anders hears Varric choke back a sound. He turns to look but Varric is stepping away from a cell. Anders moves towards him but Varric shoves him back.

"No." Varric glares at him. Anders frowns.

"What is it?" he wonders. "Is it important?"

"It's nothing. Let's go to the last room, the others are looking in there."

"Varric."

"Anders."

Anders frowns at him. He pretends to concede and begins to turn away. The moment Varric's hands relax and release him, Anders spins around him and steps up to the cell door.

"No!" Varric almost shouts. His raised voice brings their companions running, weapons raised. Bull, Solas, and Dorian all stop and stare at the scene before them.

Anders falls to his knees. There is a horrible keening noise filling his ears and he doesn't realise for a long moment that it's coming from himself until his voice chokes off into broken sobs. He scrabbles at the bars, wanting to open the door.

"What is it?" Dorian asks quietly, curiously.

Anders finally manages to blast open the lock and swing the door open but Varric grabs his shoulders and keeps him from crawling over to the body.

The familiar mantle of his armour is covered with small, red crystals. Their evil whispers don't even register in Anders' head. He can only look at the way the larger crystals are growing, grotesque and menacing from his arms, his shoulders… his _face_. They are sprouting from one of his _eyes_. One of his beautiful, fiery eyes that Anders had often lost himself in as they lay in bed for hours talking. His other eye is empty of lyrium but also empty of life, staring out of the cell door, blank and unseeing.

"Caiden…" Anders can't help the sobs. "Caiden… Caiden…"

"Shh, Blondie. Shh."

Anders tries to pull himself out of Varric's grip. He struggles as the dwarf's hands tighten on his shoulders.

"Let me go!" Anders screams. "Let me go to him!"

"There's no point." Varric's voice is choked. "He's gone."

Anders' chest feels tight, his breath coming in short pants. His mouth tastes of blood. There is a rushing in his ears and his entire body trembles in time with his pounding heart. He wants to throw up. He wants to scream again.

Why won't Varric let him throw himself down on Hawke's body and stay there? What is the point of this Maker-forsaken world if Hawke is no longer in it?

Sobs echo around the cells and Anders can't even feel embarrassed that Bull, Solas, and Dorian are witnessing this. Nothing matters anymore.

"Let me go," Anders sobs. Varric's arms wrap solidly around his chest but he ceases his struggles. He can only cry, his body collapsed, no will to continue to fight. "Let me be with him."

Varric's body is also trembling and Anders can feel his tears on the back of his neck. Anders turns his head until he can press his face into Varric's shoulder. It's relief not to have to look at Hawke's broken body any longer but the image is burned into his mind. It glows behind his closed eyelids. Varric allows him to weep in his arms and they share their grief. It is a kindness Anders doesn't deserve but he accepts gratefully.

"We cannot linger here," Solas announces in a harsh voice. Anders flinches. "You must get up and find Alexius. You must change things."

"Anders." Dorian's voice is closer than Solas' and far gentler. An equally gentle hand touches his head, fingers brush against his temple. "We can stop this from happening, we can save him by going back in time and stopping Alexius. But to do that, you have to get up. You have to keep going. I cannot imagine…" Dorian sighs. "We cannot do this without you."

"Come on, Blondie," Varric croaks. "The mage is right."

"What's the point?" Anders moans.

"Saving him," Varric replies, voice stronger this time. "Dorian is right. You save him by going back." His breath hitches and he forces back another sob. "You have to save him."

Anders draws in a shuddering breath and lifts his head. He looks back towards Hawke's mutilated body. A fresh wave of grief almost forces him into a ball but he pushes it down and on its heels is a familiar emotion.

Rage.

Fury.

"I'm going to find Alexius," Anders whispers darkly. "I'm going to find him. I'm going to make him fix this. And then I'm going to make this Elder One wish he'd never been born."

"Sounds like a plan," Bull replies.

Varric finally releases Anders.

"Don't touch the lyrium," he warns but allows Anders to crawl forward and kneel beside Hawke for a moment. He looks down on the body of his former lover and the thirst for vengeance grows. The grief is hidden beneath it now; but grief is not a driving emotion. Grief is useless, grief kills you. Anders knows this, knows well which emotions can sustain you and which mean the end.

Focusing on the rage helps him climb to his feet. He will not allow this to come to pass. This will not be Hawke's fate.

Anders sweeps from the cell without looking back. He barely has hold over his magic; the air around him is thick with electricity and heat as sparks and flames both flicker out from his hands and litter the stones beneath his feet as he walks.

He barely even notices Dorian informing Varric that they found the Grand Enchanter in the next room over. He doesn't care. Her fate will be the same as Hawke's. Varric, Solas, and Bull will share Hawke's fate. This future is killing everyone he cares about. It is killing everybody.

Anders intends to rip apart every Ventatori he sees for that. He intends to destroy all of them, reduce them all to screams of agony and then piles of ashes at his feet for what they have done. He will not allow a single Venatori to walk free when they have stolen his one bright light from him.

They will all pay.

The first to suffer are the group who attempt to attack him when he walks back out onto the walkway. The drawbridge has been lowered and there is a large group of guards apparently investigating the disturbance Anders and Dorian made when they appeared in the castle.

Anders immobilises them with stone around their feet. They cannot escape as he sets every one of them alight and continues past them and up the stairs. The screams make him smile as he leaves them behind.

"Anders!" Dorian calls. "What are you doing?"

"They're all going to burn," Anders replies. "Every last one of them will burn."

"I thought he wasn't possessed anymore," Varric mutters.

"He's not," Solas says. "I believe this is just the force of his anger."

Their words means nothing to Anders. He hears voices in the first room he comes to and throws the door open. It doesn't take long until all the men inside are dead. The mage gives him the most trouble. A pyromancer, so Anders can't burn him alive quite as easily. Instead Anders forces a stone out of the wall and throws it at the man. He is knocked down just long enough for Anders to thrust the blade of his staff through his throat. Blood splatters up onto Anders' face as he pierces the artery in his neck. He grins savagely at the gurgling groans the mage makes as he dies.

"Makers breath."

The others have made it into the room behind him.

"Anders…" Dorian stares at him in shock.

"You need to calm down. You cannot expend so much mana," Solas states calmly, approaching Anders slowly. The others are keeping their distance, eyeing him, wary. "You will have no strength left to fight Alexius. You want to kill him, don't you?"

This Solas is different to the one Anders has been getting to know. Darker, angrier. He seems to understand Anders' current state and is not shying away from it. Anders knows he's right. Behind the pounding of his pulse in his ears and the bloodlust currently clouding his mind, he knows Solas has a point.

"This isn't you," Varric adds. "You don't do this to people. You're a _healer,_ not a killer."

"They killed Caiden," Anders explains. "I'm going to kill them all."

"Not if you exhaust yourself," Solas reiterates.

"We can't just storm the castle, either. We need to think this through," Dorian adds.

Anders looks at their faces and then sighs, nodding.

"You're right. I just…"

"I understand," Solas says. "It's revenge or giving up. I understand, but revenge doesn't have to be… quite so explosive."

Anders closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. The smell of blood and lyrium fills his head and the crackle of his magic still in the air makes him shiver. His body is burning with the need to continue but the others are right, they won't be able to _fix_ it if he doesn't calm down.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"It's alright, Blondie. Come on. We've got a magister to kill."

Anders opens his eyes and nods, following the group out of the room. Down the corridor they hear voices and Anders stops. His eyes grow wide because he recognises that voice.

"Is that Red?" Bull asks quietly.

"It sounds like her," Varric replies.

Anders doesn't think twice before blasting the door open with a wave of force magic. It distracts the one Venatori inside long enough for Leliana – because it _is_ Leliana – to snap his neck with her thighs. Anders is impressed and completely unsurprised that she is capable of that in her current state.

The state of the Inquisition's spymaster shocks him and further fuels the burning rage inside of him. Her sunken face and half-dead eyes make him want to continue his magical rampage but he grits his teeth and searches the Venatori body for the key to Leliana's manacles. He will not run off and ruin their one chance.

"I'm glad we've found you," Anders tells her.

"I really shouldn't be surprised you're alive," Leliana replies. "But I am. How did you get here?"

"Long story short, time magic," Dorian answers for Anders as he steadies Leliana. "We intend to go back."

"Good." Leliana massages her wrists and walks across the room to a chest. She searches through it and pulled out a longbow and a quiver of arrows. "This cannot come to pass. If you can stop it, you must. The world must be restored."

"What has happened?" Anders wonders.

"Too much. And nothing that matters if you intend to fix it." Leliana glares at Anders. "You _must_ fix it."

Anders nods once. Something in Leliana's eyes makes him think of the need for death currently pushing him forwards. He doesn't ask, he doesn't need to. They have to go back and stop this from happening, stop all of it from happening.

Following the wishes of his friends, Anders doesn't storm through the castle and leave a trail of dead bodies behind him despite very much wishing to do so, but every Venatori or demon they come across ends up violently killed. Anders has never before taken pleasure from killing. Not even killing Templars, or Slavers. Taking life has never been something he has enjoyed, it has been an unfortunate necessity in his fight for justice.

Now, a vicious joy fills him with every Venatori that falls under his staff. The others – aside from Solas and Leliana – cast him looks of worry after each battle. Anders ignores them. The only thing that matters is making it to Alexius and going back in time.

Anders cannot live in a world without Hawke. He cannot. He will not.

The Breach has grown to cover the entire sky and there are rifts all over the castle. The mark on Anders' hand pains him more every moment they spend in this terrible future but he ignores it, harnesses its amplified power from the larger Breach, and kills every demon that crosses his path.

"We have to make it back," Dorian says to him as they stand in the courtyard after closing the two rifts. He is staring up at the sky in horror. "I don't even want to think what will happen if we don't."

Anders looks up at the sky and then at the castle.

"Going back is the only option," he agrees. Dorian looks at him for a long moment and follows him readily when Anders walks towards the castle entrance. He doesn't ask Anders about Hawke. He hasn't even asked Varric, which surprises Anders. It is a smart decision, though. Anders isn't sure whether the question would be met with grief and his inability to continue on, or with more of the blinding anger, ruining their plans and preventing them from fixing this shitshow. It's best Dorian doesn't ask him.

Inside the castle there are dead bodies. Journal entries by Alexius that suggest he planned to erase Anders from time but that it failed and that in doing so he had spoiled some huge plan of the Elder One and had been punished for it. More dead bodies. A rift. Demons.

And a giant door with a strange lock keeping Anders from Alexius and his vengeance.

"Where would Alexius even get a door like this?" Dorian demands and kicks the heavy thing. " _Venhedis_!"

Bull snorts. "Smart."

"Shut up." Dorian glowers at him.

"What about this?" Solas lifts up a shard of red lyrium, rounded as though it has been carved. He steps up to the door and presses it into one of the grooves inside the central lock. The lock lights up but the door doesn't open.

"It's not complete," Anders says. "We need to find more pieces."

"That means killing more 'Vints," Bull grunts. "Good idea."

"Let's go." Anders heads towards one of the side doors off the hall, the others following him. Anders opts for the unsubtle approach of killing every man and woman in his way and the others have no choice but to follow him into each fight. Dorian suggests creeping up on the groups in the library and dining hall but Anders chooses to flood the rooms with fire and lightning to flush them out and Bull's sword, Leliana and Varric's arrows, and the magic of his fellows mages easily pick them off while they panic. It's a good plan, Anders thinks, and they all die screaming.

It doesn't take long before they have gathered what seems to be all the pieces for the lock. They go back to the doors.

Anders is not as young as he used to be; his body is showing its age and the recent – as far as his body is concerned – experience with mage bane has him tiring as they return to the throne room. He ignores it. He can work through it. Nothing matters now except Alexius' death and going back in time. He can deal with scraping the bottom of his mana and the tremor in his muscles until that happens.

"Drink." Dorian shoves a potion into his hands. It's blue and smells sharp. Lyrium. Anders looks down at it in confusion. "Drink. We're not opening that door until you drink it all. You've used too much magic."

"I'm fine," Anders retorts but drinks the potion anyway. The lyrium floods his body with warmth and his muscles tingle as his mana begins to regenerate. His hands stop shaking.

"Hawke wouldn't want you killing yourself," Varric informs him. Anders flinches. "You won't save anyone if you die now."

Reluctantly, Anders nods.

"You're right… I just…"

Varric sighs. "I know."

Dorian forces Anders to drink a second lyrium potion before he even considers putting the rest of the lyrium into the lock. He eyes Anders with concern for a long moment before he goes to join Solas at the door.

Together the two mages fit the lyrium into the lock and activate it. The massive doors swing inward, admitting them to the room within.

There is a figure at the end of the room, standing by the throne, back to them. Anders doesn't hesitate. The memory of Hawke's body, somewhere below his feet, spurs him forward. Fire crackles around him as he approaches the figure he knows is Alexius.

"Anders, wait!" Dorian hisses, grabbing Anders' arm. He flinches as flames burn his hand but he doesn't release him. "We may need him. Wait a moment."

"He killed Hawke."

"I know. Let me speak with him first." Dorian stares at him, expression hard and Anders nods once.

"I'll give you five minutes. Then we'll see how much fire it takes to make him talk."

Dorian releases him and they approach Alexius together. Varric, Solas, Bull, and Leliana follow them. Anders doesn't take his eyes off Alexius.

"Alexius," Dorian calls.

"Dorian," Alexius echoes. "You've returned." He turns to face them. "And the Herald. I knew it would only be a matter of time before you returned. I did not know it would be now but I knew I hadn't destroyed you. My final failure."

Anders' jaw drops slightly.

This is not what he had expected. Alexius' shoulders are slumped. He sounds defeated. Anders had expected a fight, he had expected it to be bloody and long.

Alexius just seems… broken. Done.

Anders saw the same look in the mirror every day for the last four years.

"Was it worth it?" Dorian asks sadly. His face is drawn into a frown. "Everything you did to the world? To yourself?"

"It doesn't matter now." Alexius shakes his head. "All we can do is wait for the end."

"Doesn't matter? All the people you killed don't matter?" Anders demands. "It matters to me and I will see you pay for your crimes."

"I have tried to undo it," Alexius tells him. "I have tried to go back and change things. The past cannot be undone."

 _Hawke_ , Anders thinks. For Hawke it must be undone.

"All that I fought for," Alexius continues, "all that I betrayed, and what have I wrought? Ruin and death, there is nothing else."

"You're being a little dramatic," Anders says drily.

Alexius glares. "Laugh if you wish. The Elder One comes. He comes for me, for you, for us all."

There is a small commotion to the side. Anders hadn't noticed Leliana sneak forward. She grabs a slumped figure from in front of the fireplace. It takes Anders a moment to recognise Felix and when he does, his stomach twists with nausea. Felix is practically lifeless, a walking corpse. His skin is waxy and stretched over his bones; dark bruises beneath lifeless eyes make his face appear skull-like. He is barely human.

"Felix!" Alexius gasps as Leliana puts a knife to his throat.

"That's _Felix_?" Dorian demands. He blanches, looking ill. "Maker's breath, Alexius! What have you done?"

"He would have died, Dorian! I saved him," Alexius says, waving towards his son.

"I think he would rather be dead," Anders states. Felix appears worse than tranquil. That is not life. Anders doesn't know what it is, but it certainly isn't life.

"Please, don't hurt my son. I'll do anything you ask."

Anders and Dorian exchange a look.

"We need the amulet you used to send us here," Dorian demands.

"Yes, yes, I will give you anything you want," Alexius agrees. He turns to Leliana and holds his hands out. Anders watches Leliana trembling, her blade pressed tightly to Felix's neck. Felix hasn't responded at all to his situation. Anders doesn't think he'll even notice dying.

"I want the world back," Leliana demands and slits Felix's throat.

Anders summons fire to his hands an instant later as Alexius cries out. He blasts Leliana backwards and turns to the rest of them. Solas throws barriers over all of them and Anders throws his fire before Alexius can move.

The flames catch his clothes and Alexius cries out in pain and extinguishes the fire but not before Anders has summoned a static cage to trap him in place. Alexius grunts and tries to dispel the magic but he isn't as fast as Anders, hasn't had enough time to build the same rage.

Dorian and Solas are behind him but they stay back, as do Varric and Bull. Leliana is struggling to her feet but even she does not interfere as Anders approaches Alexius. He fells him with a blow from his staff and kicks Alexius' own staff away from him.

Alexius desperately throws fire at Anders' face. It blinds him momentarily which is enough time for Alexius to crawl after his staff.

"Anders!" Dorian cries but he has already healed his eyes and with a whirl of his staff, force magic throws Alexius into the wall. Anders seals him there with stone, petrifying him in place. Flames dance from Anders' staff and hands, electricity sparks beneath his feet. He allows his anger to consume him now and nobody stops him.

"Caiden Hawke," Anders says lowly as he walks towards Alexius' frozen form. The magister whimpers as flames caress his face, leaving burns in their wake. "The Champion of Kirkwall. He's lying dead in the cells of this castle. Red lyrium is growing out of him. For that alone, your death is going to be very, very painful."

Alexius cries out as the flames engulf him again, just for a moment.

"The amulet," Anders demands and covers him in flames again. They burn hotter. Alexius screams.

"I have it!" he shrieks. "I have it! Stop!"

Anders releases him for just a moment. Alexius throws the amulet at his feet. Anders picks it up and tosses it to Dorian and turns back to the magister. He is panting. His skin is red, blistered, melting.

Anders sets him on fire again.

Slowly, this time. Starting at his feet. The flames consume him inch by inch, Alexius screaming all the while, they engulf him from toe to head and burn him until his inhuman screams die and his body is a charred mess of skin and bone on the floor.

Behind him, his companions stare in shock.

"I…" Dorian blinks at him. He swallows. "I understand that you– Alexius was a good man, once."

Anders looks at the remains behind him.

"Maybe once he was," Anders says. "But now he is just the man who killed Hawke."

They are all silent.

Anders looks at the amulet in Dorian's hands.

"Can you use it to send us home?" he wonders.

Dorian seems to regain himself. "Give me an hour, I should be able to figure it out."

"An hour?" Leliana demands. "That's impossible. You must go now."

"Alexius did say the Elder One is coming," Anders agrees, looking at Dorian seriously. "Can you make that hour go faster?"

After Anders finishes speaking the ground shakes and there is a cry that sounds very much like a High Dragon. They all stare upwards fearfully as the ceiling crumbles overhead.

"You must go back," Solas insists.

"Fix this," Varric agrees.

"We'll head out front," Bull announces. He looks at Anders. "We'll keep 'em off your tail."

The three of them nod, faces stony and Anders knows that they are about to walk to their deaths. For him. He clenches his hands into fists. He will do anything, _anything_ , to keep this future from coming to pass.

"I won't let you down," Anders promises them.

Varric hesitates. "Anders. This Elder One."

"Yes?"

"It's Corypheus."

Anders freezes.

The three look at each other and turn to the doors of the throne room. Anders watches them leave, stomach rolling sickeningly.

The name repeats through his head, a drum beat, filling him with dread.

_Corypheus._

"The only way we live is if this day never comes," Leliana murmurs to him. "The only way Hawke and Alassea live…"

Anders nods to her sharply.

_Corypheus._

"Cast your spell. You have as much time as I have arrows."

Dorian sets to work immediately.

The large doors close behind Bull, Varric, and Solas.

Leliana stations herself between Anders and Dorian and the doors. She knocks an arrow and draws.

Anders cannot focus on Dorian working magic. He can hear the fighting outside. It sounds like demons. The mark in hand throbs painfully and he closes his eyes.

_Corypheus._

The door begins to shudder as it is hit with force. The demons are breaking in.

"Though darkness closes, I am shielded by flame," Leliana begins a heartfelt prayer.

The door bursts open and Anders' eyes open as well. He stares and can make out the bodies of his friends. Leliana is so tiny compared to the demons that stream into the room with Venatori foot soldiers. Leliana releases her arrow and immediately draws another.

"Andraste, guide me. Maker, take me to your side."

Anders twitches. It is not in him to stand by while Leliana is killed, but he looks at Dorian who shakes his head.

"No," he says. Anders nods. "If you move, we all die."

_Corypheus._

"I know." Anders grits his teeth and looks back at Leliana. Dorian manages to open the rift back up as Leliana is overcome by their enemies. Anders meets her eyes as a Venatori wraps their arm around her throat. He opens his mouth to call out to her when Dorian grabs his arm in a bruising grip and yanks him into the rift.

Hot.

Pressure.

Cold.

It feels, again, like he is being squeezed tightly within a giant fist. And then he's standing almost exactly where he was a moment ago, but the throne room is in one piece and his friends are alive.

Alexius looks shocked as Anders and Dorian step out of the rift. He sinks to his knees, staring at them in horror.

"You'll have to do better than that," Dorian quips, despite being obviously shaken.

Anders cannot find his voice for a long few moments.

_Corypheus._

Fiona, Varric, Solas, and Bull are clearly confused.

"You're done, Alexius. And you're coming with us."

Alexius sighs. "I suppose I have no choice."

"Certainly, not," Dorian agrees.

Anders turns to Dorian and manages a smile. Dorian grins at him.

"I'm glad that's over with," he says.

"What's over with?" Varric demands. "What just happened?"

The doors to the throne room burst open suddenly. Ferelden soldiers, Inquisition scouts, and, most unexpectedly, the Queen of Ferelden, stride into the room together.

"Or not," Dorian utters while Anders straightens, eyes on the Queen.

"Grand Enchanter!" Queen Anora says, walking towards them, furious and regal and commanding. "I would like to discuss your abuse of my hospitality."

Fiona flinches and Anders steps towards her defensively. Fiona moves to his side.

"Your Majesty," she greets.

"When I offered the mages sanctuary, I did not give them the right to drive my people from their homes!"

"Queen Anora, I assure you, we never intended–"

"In light of your actions, good intentions are no longer enough. You and your followers have worn out their welcome. Leave Ferelden, or we'll be forced to make you leave."

Anders flinches with Fiona at that, but he cannot blame Anora. Redcliffe is a mess and she is the Queen.

"But… we have hundreds who need protection," Fiona gasps. "Where will we go?"

Anders chuckles and turns to her. She eyes him warily.

"You know, I did come here with the intention of recruiting the mages to help me close the Breach," Anders informs her. "I didn't exactly manage to express that yesterday, did I?"

Fiona blinks at him. "I suppose I missed it in between the accusations."

Anders rubs his neck. "Sorry about that."

Fiona considers him. "What are your terms?"

Dorian steps towards them. "Hopefully better than what Alexius gave you." He turns to Anders. "The Inquisition _is_ better than that, yes?"

Anders wonders if he's remembering the way Alexius died not even an hour ago. He supposes the distrust is justified after that. However, that was an extenuating circumstance and there is only thing he intends to offer his fellow mages after everything he has put them through and everything they have suffered.

"Freedom." Anders smiles at them. "You would be allies, members of the Inquisition. With that would come protection, safety."

Dorian smiles, relieved and pleased. Fiona is surprised and her face softens as she recognises Anders' sincerity.

"Your offer is generous, Anders. But will the Inquisition honour it?"

That _is_ the question. Anders knows Leliana and Josephine are likely to support his decision and he thinks that should be enough. He will fight for the mages' right to remain free.

"As long as I live, none of you will end up back in the circle," Anders says fiercely. "I promise you this much."

"As long as you live?"

"The Breach threatens all of Thedas. They need me." Anders lifts his left hand. "And more than that, we cannot afford to be divided. They won't waste time fighting over it. It may take some getting used to, but they will have no other choice, not if we want to win."

 _Corypheus_.

Fiona nods. "Very well."

"I suggest you accept this offer," Queen Anora cuts in. "I will not be offering you a better one."

"I understand. I will prepare my people for the trip to Haven." Fiona steps up to Anders and holds out her hand. "The Breach will be closed. You will not regret giving us this chance."

"I never thought I would." Anders accepts her hand and then sends her off with the Inquisition scouts to assist with moving the mages.

Anders glances at Alexius, still kneeling on the stone floor.

"Do you want the magister, Your Majesty?" Anders questions. "If you don't, the Inquisition could use him."

 _Corypheus_.

Queen Anora eyes Anders and nods.

"If he will be of use to the Inquisition, you may have him. My soldiers have rounded up all of the Tevinter soldiers in the castle. Would you like them also?" she wonders.

"Haven doesn't really have a whole lot of room," Varric points out. "You should probably keep them."

"Very well. Take your magister and please leave. I have many things that require my attention." Anora dismisses them with a wave of her hand. Dorian locates a mage collar and binds Alexius while Anders explains to Varric, Solas, and Bull exactly what happened.

"Shit just keeps getting weirder," Varric sighs.

 _Corypheus_.

Anders wonders if he should tell Varric now, or wait.

"I know." Anders watches Dorian pushing Alexius ahead of him out of the castle. He remembers Hawke's broken, grotesque corpse, and shudders. That future will not happen. That won't be Hawke's fate. He is saved. And yet the image won't leave his head.

"Come on, Boss. Let's get going. We have a lot of people to move. My boys are waiting for me," Bull points out. "And everyone's going to be wanting an explanation."

"I would like to know more about this strange future," Solas adds.

"No magic discussion from now until Haven," Varric declares. "I've had enough magic for one week."

Anders sighs. "Yeah. I have, as well."

Once again, Anders forces back his memories from the dark future, and steps out into the early morning light.

_Corypheus._

They have work to do.


End file.
